cherylapple's haven

Fun stories during my travels... Bintan (March)

2010-08-26T00:38:00.006+08:00

This is the year that I've travelled widely cos financially, I'm more stable now that I have no more studies commitments. Plus I also have more time... In fact, this year is a blast and I'm definitely having the best time of my life!

March - Bintan @ Nirwana Gardens

I went there with Michelle and Baby Chloe. First time playing nanny to a 3 year old... so fun. We spent a fun 3 day 2 night eating, swimming and sun-bathing.

That's me and Baby Chloe..

She is such an absoulute doll.... Cos we had her with us, both Michelle and I couldn't go for massage. If I go without Michelle, I also would feel bad for her.

Then, I noticed the brochure for room massage. They were having 50% off... So quickly, Michelle and I booked for 2 hours.

While Michelle and I were having our massage, Chloe was happily running around the room, acting as our 3rd therapist. She will come and massage me on my oiled back for a few minutes before she will do the same for Michelle. It was simply so cute to just watch her!

It was a very relaxing holiday and I spent the two days by the pool. In fact, I stayed out too long and this was the result... contrast with above, which was taken before I left for Bintan!

When I came back, I came down with a bad nasal infection and went to see my Dr Yap. The minute he saw me, instead of treating me for my nasal infection, he gave me a bad scolding about the side effects of sun burn. I got one hell of a scolding, bad enough to embarass the hell out of me!

My first experience playing Nanny and I loved every minute of it. After all, I love kids... otherwise, I wouldn't be a teacher...

After this trip, I realised I clicked really well with Michelle and both her and Baby Chloe have been my travelling companions ever since....

Stay tuned for more travel stories.... coming up next? June Seoul and Tokyo stories....

Latest Updates....

2010-08-25T01:56:00.002+08:00

I've disappeared from my blog for almost 8 months... I've been so busy living my life that I forgot that I actually still had a blog... lolz...

What's up so far?

Work-wise, things are going great at work! In fact, I enjoy going to school every day to spend time with the lil monkeys of mine (and mind you, I use it very affectionately!!!). This is the second year I have been teaching and I am a firm advocator of following my pupils up. In the first year, as lovable as they were, it was very trying to place them in groups and working out the best combination for effective group chemistry. I was really tearing my hair out and driving my kiddos mad changing their seats almost every month. By the second year, I have already developed the 'magic formula' in the first year so it was easy to continue to apply it. Having been with me for a year means that they understand what I expect from work and study attitude. As a result, teaching them is a breeze! In fact, I love them so much that every holiday that I go on, my class always gets a souvenior when the term begins. It makes a great 'welcome back to school' present too!

Admin wise, I've comfortably settled in my role as Level Head and I'm getting recognition for the work I do. In fact, I am coping better in the things I do than compared to previous years. This has surprised me as my workload has actually gotten heavier over the years and so has my responsibilities. However, I really God has blessed me abundantly to do the work I do and continue to remain in this zen state.

On the personal front, things are great as well. I can now finally say I can speak 5 languages - English, Cantonese, Mandarin, Hokkien and Korean! While my Hokkien and Korean is not that great, I am proficient enough to communicate in them and get what I want. I better be able to... after all, I'm already taking Beginner Level 5 and I have only 1 more beginner level to go. I'm going to try for my KLPT (Korean Language Profiency Test) this October and TOPIK (Test of Proficiency in Korean) next year.

Why? My new career goal - to be a English/Korean translator. I also wanna work towards a proficiency in teaching Korean. Long term plan? Get seconded to MOE Language Centre to teach Korean!

Let's see if I can achieve that!

In fact, I'm very grateful to have a close group of classmates who study with me. I've so made many Korean friends in Singapore who meet us each week during study group to help us and practice Korean with us. Thanks to them, I can dine and shop in Korea by myself (and even get discount), go to the Korean 노래 방 (karaoke) and sing Korean songs as well as order food in Korean in the Korean restaurants. Cos my pronunciation is rather Koreanised (thanks to friends who help to correct my pronunciation), I get mistaken for being Korean when I speak Korean. In fact, when I took my friends around in Seoul, sales people thought I was a Korean bring foreign friends around. While they exaggerate the fact to make you happy so you will spend more $$$, simply hearing it makes you feel good!

Vacation-wise, I was bitten by the Vacation Bug since last December. In fact, this is the first time I've spent every term break overseas.

March - went Bintan (3 days 2 night) with Michelle and Baby Chloe. Stayed @ Nirwana Gardens.

June - went Seoul (4 days 3 nights) and Tokyo (5 days 4 nights) with Jeanette, Denise, Shi Ling, Joanna, Michelle and her Chloe, Irene and her Hui Min. We went via Asiana. I was the tour guide for the 4 days we were there. Stayed @ Ibis Myeongdong (Seoul) and Sunroute Shinjuku (Tokyo).

September - going to Petaling Jaya (KL) with Mom and Aunt OG (my Tua Yi). We are taking Aeroline coach to PJ and stay @ One World Hotel. All expenses I am covering for as a treat for Mom and Aunt OG.

December - planning to go to Korea and Hong Kong... This time, I wanna visit my friends, Chang Ki and his wife (Gwangju) as well as Yong Uk (Daejeon). I wanted to visit them in June but with so many people coming with me and the time was so short, it was impossible.

Stay tuned for more updates on interesting stories from my vacation!

메리 크리스마스! (Merry Xmas!)

2009-12-25T22:00:00.004+08:00

Merry Xmas everyone!

I've been very busy the last 2 months.... busy working and even busier playing!

As usual, work was hectic and it's only to be worse especially with my promotion next year. Sometimes, I'm also not very sure if I made the right move going for the promotion. Kinda silly to get the official appointment when I'm thinking of taking time off to study in 2011. But if I didn't, I would feel like I cheated myself of the chance since I've been covering for the job for the last 4 years. What a bundle of contradictions I am!

Anyway, the appointment was confirmed and the job scope is only going to expand. To add on, I'm going to be a supervisor next year with at least 4 people reporting to me. Frankly, I'm quite frightened by the responsibility of guiding someone's career path. It's one thing to advise friends on a personal level but it's another thing to do it as a supervisor. The only thing left to do is get on my knees and pray reallllly realllly hard for wisdom.

Maybe this is God's way of making me rely on Him more and more each day.

Personal life updates...

I'm halfway through my Korean level 2 course. My weekends are very full. Every Saturday is spent revising Korean with my classmates as well as our 3 Korean 선생님 (teachers).

This has also been a very busy holiday for me.... busy travelling.

I spent 6 days in Sichuan, China with my family. My brother and sister-in-law went back to hold their China wedding ceremony. While we were there, we also took the opportunity to sight-see. My brother's mom-in-law was such a hospitable host. She arranged everything for us. Plus we made sure that every meal, we tried something different.

Then we troop down for a 3 day holiday in Hong Kong. My mom was so cute! The minute she touched down at the airport, she announced in Cantonese: "I've finally arrived in Hong Kong, the holiday destination of my dreams!" Then the guy in front of her turned to her and said, "Welcome to Hong Kong." Mom was so embarassed... haha...

Conclusion: 3 days is definitely not enough. There were so many things I wanted to do and didn't get a chance to do. I'm going to take 2 weeks next Dec and tour the whole of Hong Kong as well as Macau.

A week after we got back, I disappeared for 4 days to Sunway Lagoon all by myself. When first I got there on Sunday afternoon, I was disorientated for a moment. I felt like I was in Vivo City cos there were so many Singaporeans there! Anyway, I had a fun time soaking in the pool all day long.

Then barely 2 days after I got back, I was off for a 3 day 2 night chalet at Costa Sands Pasir Ris. When we checked out on Sunday, I drove everyone home and went off to Diana's house (my Korean Language classmate) for Christmas gathering with my study group.

I've been so busy enjoying myself that I didn't do any work which I brought home to do... What a joke!

Anyway, it was good too. I had lull time to relax. At least now, I feel recharged. Before the holidays, I was so tired out that my brain couldn't even work at all. It just stopped processing... lolz...

Plus my KL holiday gave me time to be alone, just the way I like it. I'm simply one of those who need to be by myself to sort myself out emotionally. My mom thinks I'm really wierd that I enjoy holidays by myself. She can't understand why I have a need to be alone. Try getting surrounded by people all the time with barely enough room to breathe and you'll probably understand my need for space.

Now, I'm already thinking of where to go for my next 4 holidays... lolz... I hope to be able to utilize my passport properly before it expires in 2014. Tentative plans for next year... March - Bangkok, June - Korea, September - Bali and December - Hong Kong/Macau. Let's hope work will not end to taking away my holiday time. :p

A story worth sharing

2009-10-28T20:32:00.003+08:00

4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking care of the house and the kid. 'cos that is the exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and emotional needs of my child, and failed to be the dad and mum for my child.

There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work. Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there was still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child.

With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all I heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the 'problem'... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bedsheet and blanket!

Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short explanation:

"Dad, I was hungry and there wasn't anymore leftover rice. But you were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But I remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around, hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till you return. But I forgot to remind you 'cos I was playing with my toys... I am sorry Dad..."

At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks... but I didn't want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom and cried with the shower head on to mask my cries. After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy.

A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up.

However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain. But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'. But after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite is for every student's mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he has no mummy.....

Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to himself and stayed in his room to practise his writing, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was still around. 'cos he makes me proud too!

Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It's winter, and its Christmas time. Everywhere the christmas spirit is in every passer-by...Christmas carols and frantic shoppers....but alas, my son got into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the day's work, the post office called. Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, ' I'm sorry, Dad' and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the year.

His answer, amidst his sobbing, was : The letters were for Mummy.

My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask him: " But why did u post so many letters, at one time?" My son's reply was: " I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and I sent it all at once..."

After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say....

I told my son, " Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach mummy. My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but couldnt help opening the letter before they turn to ash.

And one of the letters broke my heart....

Dear Mummy,

I miss you so much! Today, there was a 'Talent Show' in school, and the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldn’t help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason. Mummy, everyday I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room. I think we both miss you very very much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mummy, I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your dreams. But mummy, why haven’t you appear?

After reading the letter, I cant stop sobbing. 'cos I can never replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife....

For the females with children:
Don't do so much overtime. If you cannot finish the work, it must be some kind of problems within the company, and it is not your sole problem. Feedback to your boss. Endless overtime may not necessary be the answer to the problem. Take care of your health so that you can treasure and take care of your little precious.

For the married men:
Drink less, smoke less, cos nothing can replace your good health, not even business nor clients. Try thinking this way, are you able to work till your clients are totally dependent on you? or your boss is totally dependent on you? In this society, no one is indispensable. Take care of your health, so that you can take care of your little precious and your loved ones.

For those singles out there:
Beauty lies in loving yourself first. With confidence and loving yourself, you will see the beauty in other things around you. You will be able to work better and happier. Don't let your health be affected by your work or your boss, so nothing matters more than your well being.

kids say the darnest things!

2009-10-19T21:41:00.001+08:00

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing.
She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.
She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some ofyour hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ]There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

world of stupidity...

2009-10-18T22:33:00.002+08:00

Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?

Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a "diet" soda?

Why do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?

Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage?

Why do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight?

Why do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER ...

Why the sun lightens our hair ... but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouths closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

2009-10-10T02:23:00.002+08:00

Was reading 8 Days when I came across an interview with Zooey Deschanel, star of (500) Days of Summer. In the interview, she said this:

Everyone has the heartbreak that shapes them in a way that they could never go back to the innocence that they had before. It's beautiful and poignant and bittersweet to explore. It is an universally appealing theme because if you haven't been through this, you probably will at some point. The fear of losing love is the dark side. But the wonderful side is the feeling that you get when you fall in love.

That's so true and speaks to my heart....

Best fried chicken I've tasted.... Woori Nara Restaurant!

2009-10-10T01:43:00.003+08:00

Just came home from a girls' nite out with April and Shi Ling. April had a craving for Korean food so I went to dig out an article I cut out some time back. The review for fried chicken at Woori Nara Restaurant at Upper Bukit Timah was good so we decided to check the place out.

When we got there, we ordered the half-boneless chicken in 2 flavours - Volcano Yum Yum and Soy Garlic. They were recommended in the article. We also ordered Ddeokbokki (Chewy Rice Cakes in Spicy Sauce), Gimbap (Seaweed Rice Rolls) and Oden Tang (fishcake soup). We were thinking that this should be manageable between 3 of us. When the food came, we were like OOOMMMGGG! The servings were generous and we ate till we were stuffed! Looks like I have found a new joint to satisfy my Korean food craving.

After that, we went down to Udders for ice-cream. They had an impressive range of alcoholic ice-cream. They had tira-miss-u, lychee martini, bailey's & bourbon, rum and raisin etc... simply too many for me to choose from. If I had a free rein, I'll prob end up sampling every single flavour.... alas, I had to settle on tira-miss-u and bailey's & bourbon....

It was wonderful catching up with the gals. It's strange that you see each other daily but yet you have no time to catch up. Must to this more often... with more good food of cos!

Life thus far...

2009-08-26T11:49:00.003+08:00

It's been almost 3 months since I've last blogged... these last 3 months have been pretty busy...

My bro got married on 1 August so we spent weekends to help to deliver invites as well as help him settle in his new rented flat. The wedding was simple yet very lovely... Raffles Town Club is a good place to do if you would like a hotel-type wedding at restaurant prices! The decor was beautiful plus my Aunt Iris helped to add lovely finishing touches to it.

It's amazing how my bro and my sis-in-law managed to pull the whole thing off by themselves. It was many months of hard work and preparation as well as sleepless nights. But I believe such is necessary to help you grow as a couple. I can see how in love they are and how this whole preparation has brought them closer together.

I've also been busy with work. Term 3 is always the craziest term but amidst all the mayham and madness, I found time to love myelf and make time for myself, doing the things I love. I've been able to spend time with different groups, catching up with them as well as doing things together like dinners, going for short trips and watching movies.

I've also started my Korean Language classes. It's really fun but I have to admit it was tough. It's never easy learning a new language but it has put language teaching in a new perspective for me. It took 3 lessons to learn the alphabet so I can technically read korean now... just that it takes me a long time. I'm still not good with the complicated vowels and final consonant.

I also had to help my mom with caring for my grandma. Looking at her, I really believe that as people get older, they regress into their second childhood. Grandma's behaving like a kid these days, prone to sometimes unreasonable tantrums, frustrating everyone. Praying for patience...

My Love Tribute to Godma

2009-06-11T22:13:00.008+08:00

How do you ever begin to thank some one for 11 years of wonderful memories? I never thought about it until I felt I wanted to share a special memory of Godma at the wake. The truth is, there are so many memories that I can't put a finger as to where to begin...

After the cremation was over and we returned to Fernvale (Godma's place), Aunt Carol was sharing with us how Godma used to care for so many people whom she felt strongly about that Aunt Carol used to call them Godma's strays.

And yes, I was one of the many strays. And I was proud to have been her stray... With her, there was always life's lessons to be taught. Thanks to her, I am the person I've become today. And because of the seeds she has sown in my life, I know I can live strong and she can continue to be proud of me when she looks down at me from above.

When I first knew her, she was just my Literature teacher whom I was very close to. I was a quite dim and always had to stay back to ask questions. She was often very patient with me and would use a lot of analogies to help me to understand (yes, that was how stupid I was!). Her patience made me admire her very much as a teacher and fuelled my passion for Literature. Although I enjoyed reading and watching movies, I usually do not think very deeply about them. She was the one who taught me how to look for similarities, parallels and symbols in the books and movies. Thanks to her, I never saw Matrix the same way again.

When I joined the Drama Club and had to work closely with her as she was the teacher advisor, she taught me the importance of standards and not to compromise and settle for second best. She always looked into the big and little details. To her, having the sofa placed right was never enough. There had to be a lovely throw over the sofa (which she brought from home) to cover how ugly the sofa looked. If it was the Valentine's Day production, she would bring rose-scented candles and perfumes to make the room smell nice. For Christmas production, it would be Christmas candles and potpourri. No matter how tiring setting up the set for our productions were, she would be working side by side with us. And lo and behold, by the time we were done, we would usually always wow people away with our set.

When putting up productions, she was teacher, actress, director, choreographer... all rolled into one. When we put up my last (as well as her last) dance drama, we practiced for 7 months to get it right and she would contort my body into strange movements so she could see what the steps she choreographed would look like. She would never make us do anything which she hasn't attempted in her mind's eye and by herself.

After months of Wed evening rehearsals (3 hours) and Sat rehearsals (8 hours), I was the most fit ever. I was 41 kg and acquired a 23" waist (which was never to be seen again) and for the first time in my life, I passed physical fitness test!

During the duration of that 7 months of preparation for production, she dragged us around shopping for costumes. Thanks to her, I now know where to buy costumes that would be value for money and how to embellish costumes using beads and feathers to achieve the effect I want. Because of her, I learnt the importance of value for money and thanks to her, I have learnt how to walk 10 shops to find the exact dress I want and at the price I want. She taught me the importance of thrift.

At a time when I lacked guidance, she took on a more pivotal role in my life and would often give me a gentle advice to nudge me in the right direction. Every time I felt lost and was unsure about what I should do, she was always a phone call away or I would hop down to her place and and long sessions chatting with her. She was a smart woman. She never told me what I should you. She knew stubborn lil me wouldn't have listen if she took that approach. Instead, she always asked me what I wanted and after I shared with her, she would list me the pros and cons of my decisions. Over the years, thanks to her, I learnt how to look further into my decision making. Because of that, I've learnt how to make wiser decisions. In the last 5 years, when I tell her about how things are going in my life and why I made the decisions I did, she always nodded, affirming that I've grown up and have become wiser. Seriously, I would never have been able to do that without her influence in my life.

She was also more innovative and forward than anyone of us. Before educators talked about using new media in teaching, she was already doing that. Back in 1998, she always did film and book comparisons and got us to think about how Shakespeare intended the play to be and how the film version differed and why. She was even able to hunt for Hindi movies that had a storyline that parallelled Hamlet and got us thinking about how cultural differences affected the slant of the play. In later years, she went on to using song lyrics to teach comparison poetries and would show MTVs from YouTube to help students understand the lyrics better. When she was away from school often due to her medical treatments, she set up a blog so that she would be able to post notes from home. New challenges have never frazzled her, she simply just embraced them...

Personally, she taught me strength, faith and courage. When we were looking at one of the photos taken in Melbourne by Richard of her at prayer, Aunt Carol commented how much faith and gratitude Godma showed when she prayed. Indeed, she was very grateful to God for each day she had. In the posts on her blog and her emails to Aruna (who printed them out and showed us at the wake), she counted each day she had with us as a blessing. Although cancer was a hard lover to her, she never blamed God for things that happened to her. She used her life as a personal story to constantly encourage others around her. When a girl in my college cohort came down with ovarian cancer and had to withdraw from school, Godma shut herself in the music room for over an hour with this girl so she could comfort and encourage her. When Daniel's friend discovered he suffered from leukemia, Godma met up with him and encouraged him which gave him strength to continue treatments.

To make us all feel better, she always tried to make light of situations. When she was warded in hospital to go for her spine surgery, she was ogling at the cute doctor who was telling her about the complications of the surgery which included paralysis. After the doctor left, she asked me if I noticed the name of the doctor so she could put a name to the cute face. Aunt Carol thought we were both quite stupid that we only noticed how cute the doctor was and not the seriousness of his explanations. When she went for her first radiosurgery, she would always tell us that it was a privilege to be selected as the first patient to use the machine on the spine cos the machine is usually used for neurosurgery.

Despite the difficulties, pain and sufferings that she went through, it had never stopped her from living life fully. She always did the things she wanted to do which also included taking her Master's in Literature when she was in her forties. Although she had to work harder than other students as she had not done academic writing for so many years as well as she had to defer semesters as she had to go for medical treatments, she struggled through and came out triumphant. She was very proud when she finished her course and could go up to the stage with her cane to personally collect her certificate.

Not only did she live life fully, she also encouraged others to. She would often nag at me to quickly finish my degree. When I finished my degree, she nagged at me to start my Master's. She would also often nag at me to date and not sit around her house so much. She tried fixing me up with a good Christian man like her pastor's son, new colleagues that join the school etc. Perhaps she felt that in singlehood, she missed out on motherhood. This probably explained why she 'mothered' so many of her pupils and paid special attention to the 'strays' (like me!). She probably did not want me to miss out on motherhood too.

I am grateful that she gave me Melbourne to remember. Those days were so much fun as we shared a room together. There was much fun and laughter during the trip and the best holiday photographs I have taken was in Melbourne.

I'm also glad we had a lovely celebration on Jeremy's 19th birthday together. I had a chef to come to the house to cook a lovely meal for us and although Godma's appetite wasn't great during that time, she loved the excitement of it. That was also our last celebration with her...

This weekend is the first weekend not spent with her and it just seems so strange... weekends are just not going to be the same again. In fact, Fernvale felt strange without Godma being there. When I slept over on Sunday night to ensure that the maids would be alright and not be overcome with grief, I just couldn't sleep. I had to hug Crinkles (her beloved bear) and hold her cross to get some peace. Christmas and New Year is also not going to be the same. I'm never going to be able to play with sparklers and poppers and not remember her. I'm also sad knowing that she would never get a chance to see me at my wedding (if there is ever going to be one) but I do know that if there was going to be one, she would have been the happiest to see her final wish fulfilled.

Godma has left a part of herself in the lives that she touched, including mine, and because of that, I will always remember her with fondest memories. The first year might be the hardest and yes, I will grieve but when the grieving is over, I will be strong and live life fully, with fond memories in my heart for she has given me many beautiful memories over the last 11 years.

Thank you and I will miss you always...

In loving memory... beloved Godma, Rosalind Gurupatham Jeyamoney

2009-06-08T00:21:00.005+08:00

My beloved Godma went home with our Heavenly Father and entered Eternal Glory at 6.25 pm on Sunday, 7th June 2009.

She has served God her whole life as a dutiful daughter, wonderful sister, beloved mother and inspirational teacher. She has lived up to her name, Rosalind, Giver of Love and it is my greatest honour to have known her as Rosy, the daughter, sister and mother & Rosalind, the teacher.

She left peacefully and beautifully. She fought the good fight till the very end and is now dancing in heaven with our Heavenly Father.

Caring for her brought me the greatest joy. I am blessed that she gave me the privilege to have cared for her and held her hand until the very end. She left me no rooms for regrets and for that I am blessed. Thank you...

There will be nightly services on Monday, 8th June and Tuesday, 9th June at the Singapore Casket, Level 5, Regency Room @ 8 pm. We will have a 'Celebration of her Life' memorial on Wednesday, 10th June at St Andrew's Cathedral @ 10.30 am.

There will be no mourning colours because Rosy loved parties most.

For those who are coming, bring a single stalk of red rose, in memory of the most beautiful Rose of them all.

Updates on Godma...

2009-04-10T22:46:00.002+08:00

She has been out of the hospital for 2 weeks and is resting at home now. Although she was supposed to go back to school, she hasn't been looking too good so Aunt Carol extended her medical leave for these 2 weeks.

Honestly, she hasn't been doing too well since she left the hospital. She's suffering and it's plain to see. Her hospice nurse would like her to be put in full-time hospice care. She feels that current home care is insufficient to see to her needs. This is true... Lilik (God bless her heart!) has been doing her upmost best to care for Nana and Godma (Godma has jokingly called her house 'The Fernvale Nursing Home'). She tends to the bed sores, wounds etc the way she was taught by Aunt Carol or the hospice nurse when she goes on home visits. However, Lilik is not a trained professional. There is only so much she can do. While the hospice nurse wants Godma in full-time care, she doesn't realise that it's Godma who doesn't want it. Aunt Carol has been told to persuade her but we know what she will flare up.

Godma is a force of nature... She has a will-power that never cease to amaze me. I have never met someone with a stronger will to live than her and it is this will that does not allow her to give up. She will often try to mask whatever suffering she goes through to assure us she's fine. Like when I told her she looked a lil peaked today from sleep deprivation, she was super alert the whole afternoon and refused to lie down for a nap. She does all kinds of things to reassure us she's ok. However, we do sense her insecurities from her subtle actions. She has been down with a slight diarrhoea these couple of days but she refuses to take medication. She also hasn't been sleeping well but she refused to take sleeping pills for fear that she would not wake up.

It has been difficult for me to see what she's going through and how her health has been deteriorating each week I see her. When I go over each week, I can see how frail she's becoming. She doesn't talk much these days (gradual losing of voice) and when she does, it is also weak and frail compared to the past. Movement has also become slow for her has she doesn't have much strength in her hands and fingers. Sometimes, she will have difficulties opening her pill box to get her meds out. When I'm there, I don't do much except watch telly with her and help her out whenever she needs help. But I know she enjoys having someone accompany her, even if it's just for a while.

Sometimes when I look at her, I wonder if she is hanging on, because she loves and appreciate life too much to go or she hangs in there for us, because she knows we are not ready to say goodbye to her. Regardless, life is transient and while I do not know how long more Godma can spend with us, I would like to spend as much time as I can so there will be no regrets when the day comes.

Like Lulu's 'To Sir, With Love' goes,

But how do you thank someone, who has taken you from crayons to perfume?
It isn't easy, but I'll try

A friend who taught me right from wrong
And weak from strong, That's a lot to learn
What, what can I give you in return?

If you wanted the moon, I would try to make a start
But I, would rather you let me give my heart
To Sir, with Love

Give Thanks!

2009-04-10T22:26:00.003+08:00

In this past month, God has been good and faithful in many areas of my life.

In my career...

Performance bonus was out. I was worried that I wouldn't do well as I got to a bit of a rocky start last year and personally, I knew I wasn't functioning at my best. I felt like I wasn't valued in what I do. However, the quantum given for my performance bonus has assured me that I was on the right track. In fact, I was more than grateful for this as it is the highest I have ever gotten in 6 years. Praise God... With the money, I was able to clear my loans more quickly.

I've also been promoted. This equates to having extra $$$ which came in at the right time. I have given up doing tuition to spend more time with loved ones and was worried that I would be financially tight with a car to maintain. Having the extra dole means I don't have to keep counting pennies... lolz

Just when I feel like I wasn't heading anywhere in my career, I was called in to my VP's office yesterday. She asked if me I was ready to go for the Level Head interview. If I clear the interview, I would be officially appointed and be given an allowance for the work that I have been doing. Frankly, although I have been doing the work so I might as well be paid for it, I am thankful that this came when I feel like I'm in a transition. When I attended a meeting, I did indicate my interest in joining HQ so I was contacted by HQ officers this week. Though neither positions were secured, I am able to see a light at the end of the tunnel and am filled with new hope that my career is not stagnated.

As for my car...

My friend's brother called me this morning to tell me there there are a few good second-hand cars which would be auctioned off in May. This means that I would be able to get an almost brand-new car (they are only a few months old) and a lower price, making my car ownership more affordable. This means that I would be able to own my own car by May.... Hello Kitty car, here I come!

With good things happening, how not to give thanks for what I have been given? While it is important to give thanks, my Mom reminded me to bless others with what I have. This is so true! The more you give and share, the more you will be blessed abundantly....

2009-03-15T21:34:00.002+08:00

I just realised that I haven't blogged for over 3 months. Lolz...

This has been a really busy 3 months since school re-opened. I've got a Primary 1 class this year and I'm definitely loving my class more this year compared to last year. There's something about teaching young kids. Kids just say the darnest things! Sometimes, I don't even know whether to laugh and scold them for their behaviour or things they say.

But when they see me setting up the class or packing up, everyone just rushes to switch off the lights and fans, close the windows, pluu up the screen, sweep the floor.... it's just so adorable. Strange but my P1s are more 'auto' than my P2s last year.

This year is also a challenge as I have special needs pupils in class. The first month was soooo trying, learning how to cope with my special needs boy and at the same time, others who are equally demanding for my attention. After a term, I've survived.... better and stronger... Lolz...

Work-wise, things haven't changed but I've learnt how to change my perspective and take things less personal. In terms of work system, things are also more structured so my roles have also been more defined and definite. As such, I've become happier and more settled this year.

VIPs in my life...

Godma hasn't been doing too good. She was warded 2 weeks ago for vomitting. A build-up of toxins in the kidneys have caused nausea and diarrhoea. Now, there are tests done to check for any bugs in the stomach. Results will only be out tomorrow. I haven't been around to visit as I have been nursing a very bad cough which has yet to clear.

About the family, lil bro is getting married this August! Congrats! Everyone seems to be getting married around me. Mom's friend just called today to invite Mom to her daughter's wedding. Although this is the age where every one seems to be getting married, I'm not bitten my the marriage bug although I've been bugged by the issue.

Yesterday, when we went on a school trip to Batam, I had some time on the bus to myself where I pondered over this... There are days when I celebrate my singlehood but there are also days when I lament over it and wonder if there was something wrong with me for not wanting to even meet new people. Conclusion? Frankly, I'm too tired (physically and emotionally). I don't I have that interest nor energy for the dating game. The thought of putting myself in a situation where I have to construct conversation to pass the time is absolute torture. I supposed if I met someone who clicked with me, it wouldn't be like that.

Anyway, I'm a fatalist this year. 'Thy Kingdom come, Thy Will be done' I'm going to leave everything in God's hands and take it easy. After all, the path set before me has already been destined. If it is in His Will, it will happen according to his plan. No point being a worry-wort over everything. :)

2008-12-22T10:30:00.002+08:00

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'

'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the man.

'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'

'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the man said angrily.

'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'

'If you must know, I make $50 an hour.'

'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down. 'Daddy, may I please borrow $25?'

The father was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.'

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down , and started to think, 'Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often.'

The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door. 'Are you asleep, son?' he asked.

'No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.

'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the man. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $25 you asked for.'

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you, Daddy!' he yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled upbills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father grumbled.

'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied. 'Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'

Time spent with our family is always priceless...

You are Special!

2008-12-21T21:03:00.002+08:00

One day, a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name. Then, she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday, she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. 'Really?' she heard whispered. 'I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!' and, 'I didn't know others liked me so much,' were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature. The church was packed with his friends. One by one, those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.

As she stood there, one of the soldiers, who acted as pallbearer, came up to her. 'Were you Mark's math teacher?' he asked.

She nodded, 'Yes.'

Then he said, 'Mark talked about you a lot.'

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.

'We want to show you something,' his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. 'They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.'

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew, without looking, that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.

'Thank you so much for doing that,' Mark's mother said. 'As you can see, Mark treasured it.'

All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, 'I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home.'

Chuck's wife said, 'Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.'

'I have mine too,' Marilyn said. 'It's in my diary.'

Then, Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. 'I carry this with me at all times,' Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued, 'I think we all saved our lists.'

That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be. Tell the people you love and care for that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.

Remember, you reap what you sow. What you put into the lives of others comes back into your own.

Letter from God

2008-12-18T11:59:00.002+08:00

Today, I will be handling ALL of your problems for you. I do not need your help. So, have a nice day. I love you.

P.S. Remember...

If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, DO NOT attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in MY TIME, not yours.

Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.

If you find yourself stuck in traffic jam, don't despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard-of privilege.

Should you have a bad day at work; think of the man who has been out of work for years.

Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.

Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.

Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.

Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.

Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.

Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them!

Count our blessings. So simple and yet hard to do! We are often bothered by what we don't have, rather than what we have. As such, life becomes complicated and an unhappy experience. When we count our blessings, life becomes simple and we can live much happier!

Happy Holidays!

2008-12-17T09:29:00.002+08:00

Although I did not go overseas this holiday, this is by far one of the better holiday. Cos Mommy is on leave as well. We have been spending time doing things together... taking her out, doing things for her, watching telly together with her...

I think it has been a great holiday spent with Mommy.... she has been happy too! :)

2008-12-07T23:08:00.002+08:00

April's Wedding!

April finally got married yesterday... after an almost decade-long courtship with Jun Hao, affectionally known as JH. It was so wonderful to see her settled down after all the trials in their relationship. To maintain a relationship for 10 years and grow into each other's best friend has not been an easy journey for them, but they have done it. Congrats!

It was a really beautiful wedding. The decor at Grand Hyatt was really classy. Plus the food was good. It was also a wonderful gathering of ex-colleagues. Unfortunately, there were quite a lot who were unable to make it. They were either overseas or fell sick. Despite that, everyone had a great time and April was thrilled to see everyone.

She wanted to linger with us to chat and take photos. Unfortunately, she had to go to other tables too. Anyway, I'm meeting her for lunch this Thurs, as a post-wedding celebration. I really wish her happiness in this journey ahead. ;)

2008-12-07T22:41:00.003+08:00

Joys of car ownership!

My friend's bro (the one who got me a good deal for my car) has rented me a car to drive around and practice till my car arrives. I'm been driving myself around since Monday evening, a one week old driver... lolz.

Right now, I'm enjoying the bliss of car ownership. My mom commented that since I've started driving, I've become more happy. :)

Honestly, a car has provided me a lifestyle that I've always wanted. I am able to get from place to place, with less hassle and less time spent on transport. I've also been able to do more things for my dear mom and godma. I feel that with the car, I have been able to bless people I care about.

Monday
Drove Mom to my Uncle's house to see Grandma. Mom hasn't been there since Sept. My uncle stays in the middle of the Bukit Timah private houses. It's diff to get there without transport and Mom doesn't like to rely on my uncle and aunts to drive her back. Too much hassle for them.

Tuesday
Drove to school for meeting. Drove my colleagues, Ben and David, out for a yummy lunch at Yuhua Hawker Centre. Went hospital to see Godma. Pick Mom up after work - she carried more stuff back knowing I was going to pick her up.

Wednesday
Drove to school to settle finance issues. Went to my paternal Grandma's place for lunch. Collected a free gift at Techpoint for Mom. Went to buy my Hello Kitty car accessories. Visited Godma after her discharge. Drove out to hunt for drainage bags - hers had a leak.

Thursday
Survived the Orchard traffic by driving myself for gym lessons.

Friday
Drove to school to settle finance issue once again... sigh... Had lunch with David at IMM. Went for tuition. Met Mom at Toa Payoh Central where I went to the library and she bought a lot of things.

Saturday
Survived the Orchard traffic by driving down for April's wedding dinner. Went out for drinks with my colleagues. Drove Chee Chuen and Irene home.

Sunday
Took Mom to Ghim Moh Market - her fav market but we had no direct transport for. Went to Uncle's house to see Grandma with breakfast for all of them.

While I've enjoy the use of the car and made productive use of it, it is a huge financial drain. Plus, I also had a couple of minor accidents.

Accident #1 - Hit the kerb and punctured the air tube for the wheel. Had to change the entire wheel. Thank God, my friend's bro had a lobang who did it for him FOC. Just that I was v embarassed by it.

Accident #2 - Parked too near a pillar and ended up with a scratch in front. Sigh...

Accident #3 - Hit the kern at a sharp turn and the wheel cap flew out. Didn't even realised it till I got home. Had to drive back to the spot to find it. It was in the drain. Had to climb down the drain to pick it up. Luckily, Mom was with me. She held on to the wheel cap while I kicked it in. That's how I managed to fix that! :p

These accidents have helped me to be more careful. Let's hope the list ends here...

While it is expensive for me to maintain the car, seeing the satisfaction on Mom's face as I drive her around has made it all worth while. :)

2008-12-04T12:46:00.002+08:00

Godma is finally home... after 73 days in the hospital. This is her longest stay ever!

Anyway, she has been taken off the steriods for good and only given morphine to manage the pain. She's going to be on catheter to reduce risks of infection. Her bed has been changed to the hospital-bed-type so she will be more comfortable. The house has been done up for Christmas, her favourite holiday.

She looking good and happy. I hope things will continue to be better for her. :)

2008-12-02T07:24:00.001+08:00

My car loan has been approved and UOB has kindly agreed to give me a 100% loan. Thank you UOB! Today, my dealer is going to place the bid for COE. If I can get my COE, perhaps my car can come sooner?

2008-11-27T22:09:00.001+08:00

I've finally made the downpayment for my ride. My friend's brother got me a very good deal. If my car loan gets approved, he can start bidding for my COE. I doubt there any chance of a $2 COE. If I can get it under $5K, I'm more than happy... lolz...

If everything works out well, my car should come before Chinese New Year. Hope I can get it in the colour I want. :)

2008-11-24T20:56:00.000+08:00

I passed my driving test today! Now can finally begin car shopping. :)

Latest Updates

2008-10-21T20:27:00.002+08:00

I've been coping well with my driving lessons... a bit of an idiot I must say... I'm a nut who can park but have difficulties with lane changing and directional change. My instructors are having a good laugh at me. I can do the advanced stuff but not the easier ones... quite silly, right?

Godma's still in hospital. Wound is clean but not healing. She is not eating enough protein for the wound to heal nicely. Doctors cannot do the skin graft until they see some healing in the wound. Until the skin graft is done, she's still on contact precaution.

Pray that we see some changes soon.

Godma's MRI results

2008-10-05T00:42:00.003+08:00

We were all very worried about the results and have been hoping for good news.

The good news was that there was no brain tumour, swelling or fluid build-up in the brain. However, the MRI showed a tiny spot in the lobe lining. At least that tumour (all mass are called tumours) is not present with symptoms like vomitting, dizziness or severe headaches. So the doctors will just leave it alone and monitor it closely. But if it starts to present symptoms, then they will operate and remove the spot.

Blood counts, platelet counts, hydration level, blood sugar and infection are all under control and looking good. The insulin drip has also been taken off and she is now on oral tablets instead. The only thing to watch closely is the infection in her leg and now that they have drained it, it should heal and she must be very careful that it does not get infected again. Diabetic nurse will be coming in everyday to teach Godma to identify the high and low blood sugar levels and what to do when either presents itself.

However, the infection has bacteria so she's on contact precaution. This means we have to gown up and put on surgical gloves before we enter the room. Other than that, Godma is looking well and should recover well. She is eating a lot more despite the taste of hospital food was yucky. I promised her that as soon as she is allowed outside food, I'll buy something nicer for her.

She's also bored and missed her Sci-Fi and BBC channels on cable TV... lolz... Hopefully, things stabilize soon and she can be discharged sooner. But definitely, we are not rushing the discharge. We don't want her to come down with another bout of infection when she gets home.

Something about me...

2008-10-02T23:08:00.002+08:00

I've been updating about Godma's condition lately and there's none about me... lolz...

Good News #1

I'm on to Stage 3 in my driving! Yay! Another step closer to getting my license and my 'Hello Kitty' car! :)

Good News #2

My convocation is next Thursday afternoon. I'm finally graduating! Sounds stupid since I've graduated last December but I somehow never felt quite graduated until the convocation is over and some dean gives you your certificate on stage.

I went to collect my gown at Serangoon Broadway last Sunday. When the lady put the gown on for me to try and see if the size fits, I suddenly felt like tearing... the realisation that I am graduating has finally sunk it. That had made my last 4 years of work all worth it.

Maybe this might motivated me to take my Master's? Let's see how things go... ;p

2008-10-02T22:52:00.003+08:00

Godma was looking a lot better when I saw her yesterday. However, she has run out of veins to poke (her poor hands are all bruised) so a cannula line was attached. Drips, blood taking etc would be done through that.

Her condition is still rather inconclusive. A CT scan was done on Monday but no dye was used so there was not much contrast to show. Preliminary findings are not showing anything very serious aka no fluid collection. This probably equates to good news at the moment. An MRI was done today on the head, brain and nerves to see what the radiologist can pick up. This was done to rule out possible tumours in the brain. Doctors are worried because her vision is not good and there is an occasional double-vision.

The doctors wanted to do a minor op yesterday to remove the abscess in the thigh. Unless the pus is removed, the intravenous antibiotics could not get rid of the root of the problem. When they took blood to prepare for the op, haemoglobin level was low. As a result, they had to transfuse a packet of blood before the op. The transfusion took place when I left last evening. The op was done this afternoon at 2.30 pm. When I messaged Aunt Carol at 7 plus, she was still in recovery. I'll drop by tomorrow night to see how things are.

Hospital visits in last week...

2008-09-29T07:18:00.002+08:00

I made a trip twice to the hospital last week on Thursday evening and Saturday afternoon.

On Thursday evening, things were not quite improved. She could barely recognized people... her medicine and chemo have affected her eyesight. On Tuesday, when she was warded, she did not even remember Aunt Carol, her own sister. At least on Thursday, focusing took a while but once she could recognize people, she would break into a smile. Lennel and Richard were there and she remembered the Mahjong game we had on her bed and how Richard didn't want to play. However, she had no memories of how she got warded and what the doctors and nurses are doing to her.

She was still on saline drip to combat dehydration, intravenous antibiotics and the doctors added one more... insulin drip. The reason why she was warded was the infection and high blood sugar caused her to become sleepy and caused hallucination. When I left, after 6 hours of insulin drip, her blood sugar level was high... unreadable on the machine. Seems like when she was warded, she was very lucky because if we were any moment later, she would have gone into shock. Once again, God's miracles are shining on her.

On Saturday, when I went, things were much improved. Doctors have limited visitors to 2 at a time to reduce infection risk. She is more aware of people and things around her, except she will ask the same questions over and over again... memory retention is rather poor. Blood sugar has come down so if things improve, they would put her on insulin jabs to monitor her response to it. That's going to add more routine to her regular one... once a day self-administered insulin jabs. She was still on saline and antibiotic drips.

She is sleepy all the time but this is good... I seriously think that she is making up for lost sleep for all the months she had been wheelchaired bound. Hopefully, with enough good and deep sleep, her body can rejuvenate and heal and repair faster.

For anyone who wants to visit, it is not encouraged at this point. Wait till she's discharged... Thanks! :)

Waiting for miracles...

2008-09-24T21:34:00.002+08:00

Godma is back in the hospital again. There's an infection so she's now on intravenous antibiotics. She's also severely dehydrated. Doctors are observing her and putting her through scans to make sure everything's okie. Hopefully, this is yet another miracle for all of us...

2008-09-02T00:16:00.002+08:00

Happy Teacher's Day!

Today, I took Godma on a Teacher's Day treat to The Cookie Museum @ Esplanade Mall. I must say that tea there is absolutely fabulous. We tried the Museo de Chocolate and the Three Queen's Teacake. Sinful but delightful! Very English and much to her liking...

The most fantastic was the cookie sampling. They had wonderful flavours of cookies of all kinds and they were preservative-free and low sugar. They even had savoury cookies like mushroom, nasi lemak, ikan billis and laska. Aruna bought the Madeline Rose and Laska while Godma bought Nasi Lemak.

This special treat is also to help her enjoy before she begins chemo tomorrow. She going to the hospital at 9 am tomorrow for a blood test and if everything works out well, chemo begins in the afternoon.

The chemo news, which I got last week, is a really good news. God is a good God and His timing is always perfect. When the doctors gave us news in April - May that there's nothing more to be done, we have all been praying for a miracle and been going for healing services monthly. Finally, the miracle came when the oncologist decided to book Godma for chemo last week. This was after she told Godma last year that she didn't want to try for anything cos there was no use prolonging Godma's life when she was going to be in pain (cos of the tumour in the spine) and she was not going to enjoy a good quality of life. Godma put off seeing her for a year because she didn't want to get affected by such news. After much nagging from the neurosurgeon, Aunt Carol booked an appointment and received the good news.

If this chemo works out well, Godma may enjoy another 2 - 5 years again. I believe that if God has made a way for this impossibility to happen, He will make another miracle to awe us with his great provision. After all, the pastor's wife has share with us that there were many mugs in Godma's life for God to fill and only two have been filled. His grace is sufficient for us and we were healed by His stripes. I believe that we shall see yet another miracle again.

Quotable Quotes about Teaching...

2008-08-29T00:01:00.003+08:00

Why I teach?

Being a teacher is not just about teaching. A teacher is one who shapes, creates and mould lives.
It is about breathing life into the pages of textbooks and weaving magic into them everyday.
It is about inspiring curious young minds and recognising raw talent, challenging them to think beyond mere words.
It is about cultivating the thirst for knowledge that may be found in abundance between the covers of books but which can only be brought to life by a teacher.
Teaching is not one job, its many.
In fact, no other career matches the unique opportunities, challenges and satisfaction you will experience as a teacher.
Being a teacher entails being a role-model to his/her students.
Indeed, teachers play an important role in helping to inculcate in their students, sound moral values and strength of character.
Our students learn through participating in co-curricular activties and engaging in social interactions in school, at home and with their friends.
Teachers, together with parents and the community, are all partners in the process of nurturing the younger generation.

The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet. - Aristotle

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To a mind of flint, the teacher must be iron, and strike sparks.
To the empty pitcher, the teacher becomes a well.
To the fallow mind, a planter of seeds.
To the cluttered mind, a gardener to weed, shape, and clear a space for growing.

To the lens, the teacher is light, and to the mind of light, a lens.
To the sleeper, the teacher is the wake-up call of birds at sunrise.
To clay, the teacher is potter, sculptor, and trainer in self-shaping.
To the wanderer, the teacher is a knowing guide.

To the developed mind, the teacher is colleague, listener, and friend.
To all, the teacher is a mirror that shows not only the self but the path and its choices, the task and its demands -- the difficulties, the joys.
To all and from all, the teacher is a learner, a person -- and a prism through which the ordinary continuously reveals itself to be miraculous.

Gerald Grow

For all Educators

The future of the world is in my classroom today, a future with the potential for good or bad.... Several future presidents are learning from me today; so are the great writers of the next decades, and so are all the so-called ordinary people who will make the decisions in a democracy. I must never forget these same young people could be the thieves and murderers of the future. Only a teacher? Thank God I have a calling to the greatest profession of all! I must be vigilant every day, lest I lose one fragile opportunity to improve tomorrow.

Thy will be done...

2008-08-23T01:07:00.002+08:00

In the end, I didn't get the job. The bad news came last Thursday. And the reason that I was given sounded really crappy to me. The HOD told me that she spotted some syntax and grammatical errors in my lesson plan. Otherwise, everything was great and they would have loved to have me join them.

When I heard this, I was so stunned that I didn't know how to react. I dun think I had that many lines in my lesson plan that would highlight major syntax and grammatical errors, causing incoherence in understanding.

Honestly, they dun have to tell me this but I know that the real reason had to do with qualifications. Having being a civil servant for the last 8 years, I dun need to be a rocket scientist to know the importance of paper qualifications in this field. I asked Godma if they would have rejected me if I had an honours degree from NUS or NTU. She admitted no.

I would seriously have preferred to hear the truth (even if it's rubbing salt on wound). It just felt very demeaning. I think that we live in such a politically correct world that the things we say to be politically correct ends up sounding more demeaning or stupid than the hard truth.

Anyway, I was initially quite disappointed. But after a good night's sleep and doses of heavenly wisdom (plus lovely encouraging sms-es from loved ones), I was alright. It is just not in God's will but I'm sure he will have other exciting things lined up for me.

I'm NOT SORRY that my degree came from SIM and I had to do a part-time degree. I admit that I screwed up my life... But I'm very proud of the fact that I picked myself up and I did something great with my life for the last ten years. My degree is the result of juggling heavy work and study achievements so no one can tell me that it wasn't worth it. I am not going to let a lil disappointment get me down.

Godma was worried for me. We made plans to have tea and do some shopping last Friday. When the news came on Thursday afternoon, she asked me if I was alright. Otherwise, we could postpone tea and shopping. I told her that we will go as planned. It was so rare that I had an afternoon off and I was not going to waste my time licking my wounds at home.

So we had a wonderful tea and shopping on Friday. The tea almost didn't happen cos we couldn't get a cab. When I got to her place at 2 pm, I was ready, she was ready but there was no cabs. We tried to 2.30... nothing. 3 pm... nothing. 3.30... nothing. So we finally had to settle for the $45 maxicab which got us to Plaza Singapura at 4 pm. The best thing... we had a $5 discount and even bumped into Audrey (whom we had tea with).

After tea, we had a fruitful shopping trip where we got all the things we wanted under 2 hours... so efficient. Even her maid, Lilik, was impressed that we managed to get everything we need. That's what happens to two gals who never say die!

The highlight of the shopping trip was me getting Godma up the travelator at Carrefour. When I wheeled her up twice, we went backwards and landed up back at the bottom. So we finally worked out a system that worked. I hooked everything on the wheelchair, while she got her hands ready at the brakes. The min the wheels touch the travelator, she would lock the wheels while I support from behind to make sure it does not roll backwards. It worked!

Now, I am going to plan a Teacher's Day treat for Godma. Let's see if I survive taking her out to the Marina area. Hehee...

2008-08-13T12:06:00.002+08:00

I survived my lesson observation! As part of the post-lesson observation review, the senior teacher for GP says I show promise. Now must hope and pray for a miracle to happen. :)

2008-08-06T10:04:00.000+08:00

I am finally going to teach a GP class next Wednesday... feeling excited yet nervous. The knowledge that everything is hanging on this is kinda scary. Must prepare my materials well this weekend. Thanks God for the long weekend! :)

2008-08-01T10:50:00.002+08:00

This whole entire transfer thing is really the hands of God moving in my life.

I finally got an email arranging for the time of the interview on Thursday, 4 pm. However, I won't be able to make it so I went this morning at 9.30 am.

After meeting the vp, she was very frank and told me that they appreciated the fact that I was very keen and earnest. The only concern was the wide gap from primary school to college. They were willing to give me a chance to prove myself by conducting 1 lesson and I would be assessed from there.

At least it was not an outright no. If I can perform during the lesson observation, I would actually make it!

The interesting thing was the vp apologised to me at the end of it cos my application kinda got lost in the flurry of emails that the school gets daily so the clerk did not contact me. VP was also wondering how come I never came for an interview.

When I went for the Poetry Slam on Tuesday night and met the HOD, Godma did tell her about my transfer and we had a short conversation. When I told her that I was waiting for the office to contact me regarding the appointment, the HOD checked with the VP and I got my email on Wednesday.

If this is not divine intervention, I dunno what is... If I had not gone down on Tuesday, I might not have met the HOD and all these things would not have been set in motion.

While I'm still praying for my miracle, I somehow have a deep sense of peace... like God is in control of everything. When He is in control, what else do I fear. Just do my part well and let Him do the rest.

2008-07-27T00:52:00.002+08:00

This weekend has been a really enjoyable one. I kicked off the weekend by having durian buffet @ Cafe Vic, Carlton Hotel with Rachel, Cherise, Jeanette, Sara and David on Friday night. The food was worth every bit of what we paid for. There was delicious braised crab soup, black pepper crabs, roasted lamb, steamed herbal chicken, grilled slipper lobster, grilled pork etc. And of course, the highlight were the durian dishes such as seared scallop with durian and mango, durian prata, durian chicken wrap, durian creme brulee, durian bobo chacha, durian pudding, durian fritters and best of all, freshly opened D24 durians... I could barely move after dinner, let alone sleep well. Was simply too stuffed! Plus had to down a can of beer to get rid of the heatiness.

With all that said and done, next year, I'll be looking forward to the next durian buffet that they would be having.

Saturday, I was at Vivo City having tea with Godma and an ex-college teacher. Pity I was never taught by him. The ex was there with his family and looking at his son, I am so convinced I am not cut out for motherhood at this point. Biological clock is definitely not ticking at all. Much as I like kids, I draw the line at carrying them for no more than 5 min. The only lucky babies to ever stay in my arms for 2 hours were Baby Chloe (Michelle's princess) and Baby Leanne (Jasmine's princess). Sadly, I seem to have no liking for male babies.

The strangest thing was the ex was not happy that I was joining for tea. He was worried that his wife would feel jealous. Whatever for? Me thinks that he has forgotten that I was the one who walked out of the whole relationship and has never looked back since. In fact, I would not be where I am today if I actually stayed n the relationship. Despite the many sacrifices that I had to make, there no regrets cos I am too much of a free spirit to be tied down. Anyway, Godma told him that if his wife had such feelings, it was probably because of him. Hooray for Godma! Lolz...

Tonight, I will be at Plaza Singapura with Godma and her family. We are going to celebrate Uncle Martin's birthday. It's teppanyaki at Sakae Sushi, my first time trying out the food there.

I better head down to gym later today... need to work out the calories after the weekend of feasting.

2008-07-18T08:46:00.003+08:00

Godma finally penned down her experiences to encourage her students... Read about it in http://gatsr.blogspot.com/

Honestly, I am very proud of her. She is the strongest person I've known... not in physical strength but by sheer will... She even told me that cancer is not a disease of the body but of the mind. When cancer patients lose hope, that's when everything deteriorate...

She's God's living testimony that miracles can exist.

On a brighter note, one of my colleague, who was very depressed when she was unsure if she could get her transfer, is finally getting the transfer. I believe that miracles happen and if the transfer is truly in God's plan for me, He will give me the miracle and protection I need to see me through...

2008-07-16T10:46:00.003+08:00

By the grace of God, the VP replied me and told me that the clerk will call me to arrange for a chat. Honestly, I'm very worried. Godma told me to keep my fingers crossed... it's a broad area i'm crossing so I may not get it and with competition from others applying, it might be tougher.

Anyway, my career thus far is made up of a lot of impossibilities... God has opened many doors for me to try out many things. No matter how tough they were and how many sacrifices I had to make, I have no regrets. I have been given opportunities to try out many new things.

I believe that if God has opened this window of opportunity for me, I believe that he will give me another miracle. Even if it does not work, I have no regrets cos at least I tried.

God will make a way

2008-07-14T23:40:00.002+08:00

With faith as small as a mustard seed, God has answered my prayers and has made a way for me to apply for a transfer. Now, I'm believing for a miracle... that I will be called up for an interview, it will be successful, I will get a place and my P would actually be willing to let me go and not give me a hard time.

Always have Plan B!

2008-06-27T23:32:00.002+08:00

A pretty woman was serving a life sentence in prison. Angry and resentful about her situation, she had decided that she would rather die than to live another year in prison.

Over the years she had become good friends with one of the prison caretakers. His job, among others, was to bury those prisoners who died in a graveyard just outside the prison walls. When a prisoner died, the caretaker rang a bell, which was heard by everyone. The caretaker then got the body and put it in a casket. Next, he entered his office to fill out the death certificate before returning to the casket to nail the lid shut. Finally, he put the casket on a wagon to take it to the graveyard and bury it.

Knowing this routine, the woman devised an escape plan and shared it with the caretaker. The next time the bell rang, the woman would leave her cell and sneak into the dark room where the coffins were kept. She would slip into the coffin with the dead body while the caretaker was filling out the death certificate. When the care-taker returned, he would nail the lid shut and take the coffin outside the prison with the woman in the coffin along with the dead body. He would then bury the coffin. The woman knew there would be enough air for her to breathe until later in the evening when the caretaker would return to the graveyard under the cover of darkness, dig up the coffin, open it, and set her free.

The caretaker was reluctant to go along with this plan, but since he and the woman had become good friends over the years, he agreed to do it.

The woman waited several weeks before someone in the prison died. She was asleep in her cell when she heard the death bell ring. She got up and slowly walked down the hallway. She was nearly caught a couple of times. Her heart was beating fast. She opened the door to the darkened room where the coffins were kept. Quietly in the dark, she found the coffin that contained the dead body, carefully climbed into the coffin and pulled the lid shut to wait for the caretaker to come and nail the lid shut.

Soon she heard footsteps and the pounding of the hammer and nails. Even though she was very uncomfortable in the coffin with the dead body, she knew that with each nail she was one step closer to freedom. The coffin was lifted onto the wagon and taken outside to the graveyard. She could feel the coffin being lowered into the ground. She didn't make a sound as the coffin hit the bottom of the grave with a thud. Finally she heard the dirt dropping onto the top of the wooden coffin, and she knew that it was only a matter of time until she would be free at last. After several minutes of absolute silence, she began to laugh. She was free! She was free! Feeling curious, she decided to light a match to find out the identity of the dead prisoner beside her.

To her horror, she discovered that she was lying next to the dead caretaker.

Many people believe they have life all figured out..... but sometimes it just doesn't turn out the way they planned it.

Think of a 'Plan B'!

First Scrapbook Attempt Completed!

2008-06-19T22:21:00.003+08:00

My first scrapbooking is finally completed!

Nice?

I really think it's not too bad for my first attempt... considering how I was the bane of all my Art teachers cos I used to fail art.

This will definitely inspire me to create more... especially when doing this is so therapeutic

My first scrapbooking attempt

2008-06-19T00:37:00.004+08:00

I am probably one of the most uncreative person around but after hearing my colleagues rant and rave about scrapbooking and a trip to Laine's Papeterie at Wheelock Place, I was inspired to begin my first.

Now, all I need are the pictures to complete it. Stay tuned for the update! kekee...

My Life Thus Far

2008-06-18T23:58:00.007+08:00

This June has been a very good holiday for me. For the first time in my life, I neglected work... going to school only on the days required. The 2 weeks break which we were officially given, I did not step into school at all!

My Melbourne Trip was fantastic! Now I finally understand why people like to retire in Australia. I loved the winter weather which had an average temperature of about 8 - 12 degrees. We stayed in Trueman's Cottage at Rosebud. The cottage was beautiful!

Here is the lovely garden right outside our door. There is a lovely fountain, although with no water. The tree has Christmas lights strung around it so it will direct Uncle Martin where the cottage is.

Here's the room which I shared with Rosy, my godma. Notice Crinkles sitting on the bed? Crinkles is the teddy bear who has travelled with her on all her holidays. Unfortunately, with all her things and the wheelchair, we forgot to take him out. He spent most of his time in the room. Poor Crinkles!

His consolation? We took him out to Great Ocean Drive where he got to enjoy lovely Devonshire Tea with us.

Even the Macdonald's in Oz is more interesting than what we have here. While I was there, they were having Flavours of the Games promotion, to celebrate the Olympics. There was McEurope (which was yummy!), McAmerica, McAfrica, McAsia and McAustralia burgers which were launched every 2 weeks. Wish I was there long enough to try everything!

I also enjoy my first theatre performance overseas. We watched Boeing, Boeing at The Comedy Theatre. The most fantastic thing? You are actually allowed to eat and drink in the theatre. We had ice-cream during the intermission. This might sound a lil crazy but I actually really love eating ice-cream during winter.

Other places we visited were Moralto's vineyard, Arthur's Seat and the Moonlight Sanctuary where I had so much fun feeding kangaroos, bettongs and tawney frogmouth (a breed of owl). I only wished I could stay there a little longer. Will definitely want to return there again soon.

Over last weekend, I spent it at Batam with friends for spa and shopping. Personally, I found it a rather boring place for shopping. The only shopping delight? Groceries. It is always half the price you would pay here. No wonder there were people carrying large boxes of instant noodles and huge bags of groceries on the return ferry.

I think this was the best 2 weeks of my hols I have spent in the last 2 years. I was totally relaxed!

However, I think I'm seriously allergic to hot weather work. The minute I returned to Singapore and back to school, the migraines have started. Sigh...

Well, I guess we always have to count our blessings. At least, I really enjoyed the 2 weeks. Although term 3 has not begun, I'm already looking forward to the Sept hols... haha... hope the 10 weeks pass quickly and hols come faster.

2008-05-31T00:43:00.002+08:00

And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13

"I Love You" are three words that are so easy to say but often very hard to act on. Trials and tribulations are therefore set to test us in our understanding of love.

Love is a dependency. When we love, we will always depend on others even as we draw strength from them. It is always easy to say we love God but we often have no time to prove we do. There will always be things that will take us away from simply spending time in His presence. While God does not create trials and tribulations, he allows them to happen so that we will learn to draw strength from Him. Therefore when we are weak, these are the moments when we have to fall to our knees and pray even harder so that His grace and love will surround us and give us strength to see us through our trials and tribulations.

Of a more earthly nature, Gary Chapman talks about five languages of love - words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. For me, while I do show love through all five ways, the main channel is still through acts of service.

To me, God has given me the gift of servant-hood to apply myself in service to others. My life seems to be one of service, be it in the professional and social aspect. Whenever I serve, it is always a sacrifice I make to better the life of another. It can inconvenient me as well as drain me in the physical, emotional and spiritual sense. However, He has never let me down. Whenever, I am discouraged by the trials and tribulations placed in my service to others, He will always bring me down to my knees and teach me to pray even harder to depend of His wisdom and strength. In doing so, I get strength to continue serving people and in doing so, serving God. I never realised it until He slowly reaffirmed this time and time again.

Recently, there have been many trials and tribulations that have weaken me.

Professionally, I don't feel I'm managing so well. I feel like I have lost my internal compass and is not too sure of the direction I should continue to take. The direction which I was very sure to go seems to have done nothing but to add to the stress that has ravaged my poor health. As a result, I seem to be having a declining quality of life. This has left me rather distressed and frustrated because I hate not knowing what I am doing or where I should continue to go.

After endless cries for wisdom and guidance, His answer was to focus and concentrate on what I do best at... teach. I have in no way failed because of a lack of ability. Merely, the want to do well in all things have led to a high level of stress I am subjecting myself to, leading to ravaged health. I believe that for me to focus on merely teaching is not to declare that I have failed. Rather, it is for me to restore and strengthen the foundation of my health and pedagogical skills so that when I do rise again, like a phoenix from the ashes, I will come back stronger and better, able to soar higher than before.

Socially, it was not good news to see Rosy's legs grow weaker day by day till present state. However, God has given her strength and wisdom to face life's everyday challenges. On my part, I am very glad to be of service to the family in anyway I can. For the first time today, I helped to shower Rosy. While she was embarassed by the incident, I am glad that God has placed me there to be of service to her. She was there to guide me when I was at my weakest. This is the little I can do for her to show how much I love and care.

Our prayers have slowly been coming to pass and I believe God's miracles will happen. We just have to wait for His, not our, right moment for them to happen.

2008-05-23T23:24:00.002+08:00

Yay! The holidays are here!

This holiday is especially special to me cos it is a time for me to really rest well to build up my ill health. Hopefully, my vacation overseas will really help me to recharge my batteries.

This holiday will also be home improvement time! I will be quite busy at home, helping to tidy up the place. Went with Mom to Courts at Toa Payoh today to buy new furniture to replace our sofa, a new wardrobe for more storage area as well as a drawer for my room.

It's time to role-switch from teacher to homemaker! lolz...

Heat is driving me nuts!

2008-05-18T22:46:00.002+08:00

The temperature in Singapore has been soaring and it can get extremely unbearable in the afternoons for me. And with my flu not completely recovered, the heat is inducing chronic migraines ie migraine practically every afternoon. This really sucks cos I have to teach in the afternoon sessions.

Thanks to my migraine, my social life has completely been screwed. I can't really go out very much cos my migraine usually strikes in the afternoons... haven't been going to my gym, cell group and even service. Sigh...

In the end, I have been attending service at the church opposite my house so that with less travelling, my migraine will ease. Can't say that helped a lot... but at least it was the pain was reduced to a dull throb.

I must be a strange Singaporean to be allergic to heat.

Btw, Happy 17th birthday Josh! Even if I spent the afternoon sleeping in your house...

Holidays are coming...

2008-05-16T08:06:00.002+08:00

It's a sorry state of your career when all you can look forward to are your holidays. After working for the last 8 years, I've reached a career burn-out. I'm dragging my feet to school each day cos I'm really tired of all the stress that I've been put through. To make things worse, my health is suffering... for the last 3 weeks, I've been down with flu and migraines. The meds are no help cos they are only symptomatic treatments.

Anyway, all systems go for this June hols. I'm off to Melbourne with Rosy and the family from 4th to 10th June and to Batam with some friends from 14th to 15th June. Everything has been booked, payments have been made, I'm ready to have a good time and rest well this hols!

Where shall I go at the end of the year? Korea seems to be calling me back again... kekee...

Sleepless in Queen's

2008-05-06T22:12:00.002+08:00

Since the weekend, I have been sleeping very poorly. Tomorrow the kids begin their English paper. I am very worried about the results. The thought of the post exam results analysis is enough to drive me to the depths of depression. I really hope they do well and I can escape a blood bath... sigh...

Rosy - my second mom

2008-04-24T22:21:00.002+08:00

These two days were a real awakening to my cowardly nature and my inability to take bad news. I must have been 'sunny' or 'desperately trying to remain sunny' for so long... dealing with the crap that Life throws at me until I can't seem to recognise when I really need to rant and rave to get negative emotions out of my system...

Yesterday afternoon, I received bad news from Aunt Carol (Rosy's sister) that the MRI results are out and the last bout of radiosurgery which she went through in Jan did not managed to blast the tumour in the spine away. In fact, her doctors have said that there is nothing more medical science can help her at this point. They have refered her to the Pain Management Unit and Hospice Care to help her deal with the pain.

When I heard the news, I was kinda shell-shocked. The first thing I thought of was to rush to the hospital and sit with her. Although I didn't stay for very long, at least I was there to hear what the doctor had to say.

Praying for a miracle is not great news that any patient wants to hear but that's what's I'll be praying for nightly. I really believe that Rosy has been God's miracle child for the last 10 years... by sheer will, she has overcome the obstacles that have been placed. And each time as the doctors seem to lose hope, there would be medical breakthroughs just in time to renew hope. This time, even as her doctors keep a lookout for new medical breakthroughs, I'll be praying that God will answer my prayers and the breakthroughs will be just in time.

It seems strange that I should take it so hard even though we have no blood relation. If fact, when both my grandfathers passed away, I was not even a least bit affected. The only time I cried was when they were about to be cremated.

Maybe cos I have not thanked her enough for all she has done to me. In fact, I will always be indebted to her. She was more than my college Literature teacher... she taught me about life, saw hope in me when I didn't even see any in myself. In fact, part of the success I have today is thanks to the skills that she taught me.

I was not much of a bookworm in school. I was always the underperformer. Instead of running after me for what I couldn't do, she gave the job of the Drama Club Secretary, making me run after people. It is this people management skill that has served me well in my workplace till now.

She has also encouraged me to keep educating myself, upgrade to keep it. Maybe I should really start thinking seriously about taking up a Masters'.

The friendship we have built over the years have transcended that of ordinary friends. To me, I go to her for advice more than I actually go to my mom. Though I've never told her, she's like my second mom.

Right now, I just wanna spend more time with her... quickly get a license so I can buy a car and drive her around... treasure her while I still can...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
To see a world in a grain of sand
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour.
- Auguries of Innocence William Blake
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

2008-04-21T23:16:00.003+08:00

The closer I walk with God, the more sensitive I become to his prompting. I've learnt to become less stubborn and listen more.

Recently, a well-meaning tried match-matching me with her bf's friend. I wasn't all that interested but I wasn't adverse to it either. It doesn't hurt to go out a couple of times to see how things might turn out.

Well, after 2 dates, I started feeling rather uneasy. During a quiet time, God gave me a verse.

"Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?"
(2 Corinthians 6:14)

I don't consider myself extremely staunch or religious. But as this verse kept appearing in my mind over and over again, it has to be a sign.

Maybe it just isn't time for me yet. It is just as well.... I just have too much things on my plate at this time. If I had the time, I wanna spend more time with my loved ones. Especially when a very close friend has been in and out of hospital lately...

No one knows what tomorrow may bring... I would rather live for the present moment so I won't have future regrets. When the time is ripe, things will just naturally occur.

Afterall, there's a time and season for everything.

To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, And a time to die;
A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill, And a time to heal;
A time to break down, And a time to build up;
A time to weep, And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, And a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to gain, And a time to lose;
A time to keep, And a time to throw away;
A time to tear, And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;
A time to love, And a time to hate;
A time of war, And a time of peace.
(Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

Jokes galore

2008-04-04T07:22:00.000+08:00

1. Losing all your friends

Man comes home and finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his friend and kills him. Wife says 'If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends.'

2. Brother wanted

A small boy wrote to Santa Claus, 'send me a brother'....
Santa wrote back, 'SEND ME YOUR MOTHER'....

3. Meaning of WIFE

Husband asks, 'Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means 'Without Information Fighting Everytime'!'
Wife replies, 'No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!'

4. Importance of a period

Teacher: 'Do you know the importance of a period?'
Kid: 'Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away.'

5. Confident vs. confidential

A young boy asks his Dad, 'What is the difference between confident and confidential?'
Dad says, 'You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential! '

6. Anger management?
Husband: 'When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?'
Wife: 'I clean the toilet.'
Husband: 'How does that help?'
Wife: 'I use your toothbrush .'

2008-03-02T20:34:00.005+08:00

Before You formed me in the womb, You knew me;
Before I was born, You set me apart;
(Jeremiah 1:5)

Right from the very beginning, my life was not my own to walk. You have set my path before me and I was merely a traveller of my destiny. You gave me many opportunities to get to know You. Each time You took one step towards me, I took one step back. I kept running from You. Maybe I always knew what You demanded from me and I was not willing to give...

You never promised me that my life would be easy. I merely assumed that it would be. By my own foolishness and sheer stubbornness, I strayed from the path that you set for me. In that process, I stumbled and fell many times, losing myself and the potential You placed in me. I ranted and raved at You for not giving me any short cuts and keeping my battles tough. I never understood until now...

Through my battles, You moulded my character. You set a great destiny for me and You knew that I would never get there unless You toughened me up. You knew that I would run from You but You never wasted the moments that I struggled through. Because of them, I gained wisdom and could now share my experiences with others. With You, there was never a wasted moment... it was just merely part of my destiny.

Through my struggles, I was never alone. My experiences may have left me deep scars from the wounds I have received. However, You were always there, healing and mending my broken heart. Because of You, I was kept broken before you but I was never a broken person. Because of that, I am now a much stronger person. I have confidence to wear my scars on my sleeves because I'm not ashamed of who I was.

From the time I took one step towards You, You took many steps towards me, revealing the destiny that You have set for me. While it amazes me with what You have in store for me, it also frightens me. What You have set for me demands great capacity and there are moments I doubt the capacity you have placed within me. Am I really destined for this greatness You have set for me?

Whenever I cast self-doubt, You give me fresh revelations that only serve to frighten me. Whenever I get frightened, You open new doors for me to rise up another level. You send angels in the form of my family and friends to minister to me and encourage me. Bit by bit, You have torn me down. You filled me with a hunger to be less of myself and more of you.

Today, what You revealed to me only served to remind me of the calling You have given me, the destiny that you have placed in me. Thank You for reminding me that everything I do is making a difference by serving the people around me. That the work that I do daily is shaping a life, day by day. Thank You for reminding how to be Your good and faithful servant - my ministry towards you. Thank You...

As You take me up another level, these are moments I need to be filled with Your wisdom over and over again. I need to walk in Your revelation. Teach me to lean not by my own understanding but by Yours. Give me grace that abounds greatly so goodness and mercy can follow me all the days of my life.

This blog entry was inspired by Corrinne May's Scars (Stronger for life) from her Beautiful Seed album.

I just want to run
Just want to hide away
Close my eyes to your gaze
Just want to leave
Don't want to hear them say
"You're no good at this"
When the world swirls with naysayers
Broken wings and torn pages
The road ahead, drowning in my tears

Break me open
Tear me down
Into pieces
Broken crumbs
On the ground
You can mould and shape me
In your image
Breathe your life
You know I need it
Scars make us stronger for life

Losing myself
Gaining it back again
Forging strength from weakness
All that I am
All that I'm meant to be
Melting in your hand
Let the world swirl with naysayers
Pickled hearts and sour faces
What is real is what I cannot see

Cut away
All within me
That won't bear fruit
Cut away
All within me

PS: Thanks Corrinne for this beautiful song. You are truly an amazing singer/songwriter. May God continue to annoint you with more beautiful songs.

Catharsis

2008-03-01T23:27:00.002+08:00

The term in drama refers to a sudden emotional breakdown or climax that constitutes overwhelming feelings of great sorrow, pity, laughter or any extreme change in emotion that results in the restoration, renewal and revitalization for living.
(compliments of dictionary.com)

That was how I felt when I watched 'The Leap Years' today. It's a beautiful movie... albeit a lil sappy. In this story, Li-ann (played by Wong Li-lin and Joan Chen), an idealistic Literature teacher (who is born on 29 Feb), meets Jeremy at Windows cafe and was inspired to ask him out to fulfill the tradition of 29 Feb which allows women to propose dates to men. This begins their love story... with a date that only can happen every 4 years.

In the story, many facets of love has been played out.

We see unrequited love played out in the form of Qi Yiwu as KS who was in love with Li-ann since they were children.

There is the foolish hoping against all odds for something that may not materialise in the form of Li-ann hopelessly waiting for the second leap year to see Jeremy again, only to be disappointed when she realises that she was a third party and that he is married and has a daughter.

There's the acting brave to show others you are on the stage of recovery in the form of Li-ann pretending to be married and having a 2 year old daughter when she meets Jeremy.

There's also the pretending to be happy when in fact settling for second best since you can't have what you want, hoping that you can convince everyone you have moved on.

In the movie, there was a line from Jeremy where he says that it takes courage to be single as many people settle in relationships for the fear of being lonely.

That line was like cartharsis for me. Why? I have clung on to a relationship, where I settled knowing that we are just too different. I gave 'Him 1' chances again and again so we could come to middle ground, only to realise that I was the one who constantly gave in, walking over to his 'middle ground', losing myself in that process. I became a different person, gradually losing my spirit, becoming a shadow of my former self. It was only after he left for an overseas posting, friends who saw me commented that without him by side, my spirit was gradually returning and I was my bubbly, spirited self again. This was the wake up call that I could okie by myself and there was no need to settle in a relationship for the fear of being lonely.

I have also fallen in love 'Him 2' cos we seemed to have great chemistry and communication. Though there was never any step forward, I clung on, hoping that he would one day accept me. However, it ended up as an unrequited love when I realised it was not meant to be cos he was too self-absorbed.

There's also 'Him 3' where he had strings attached to an unresolved relationship. I ended up the third party whom he turned to when he was 'lost'. The first breakup with him devastated me to the point I was unable to concentrate on work. My depression led to me falling sick frequently during that period. After a month, he came back to me and I accepted him again. There began an emotional roller-coaster which dragged for almost a year. In the end, it took wisdom to realise that it was never meant to be and walk away from it all.

After these failed relationships, I bummed around like an emotional zombie, acting brave and pretending to be happy on the outside to show others I was okie. I just didn't want people to worry about me.

Thankfully, time really did heal most wounds. I have gained wisdom from these relationships as well as watching friends' successful relationships to realise what most important in a relationship. However, deep wounds do leave scars and although I've come out of my experiences stronger, I'm also battle-scarred by my experiences.

Right now, I don't think I'm ready for any relationship. Seriously, I don't think I can survive another heartbreak again. If I do commit this time, I hope to have a 'happily ever after'. Maybe to some, I might be a romantic fool. I'm really just a romantic idealist who still believe in 'love happily ever after' and is still searching for my 'happily ever after'.

Maybe sometimes, patience is the key to finding what I'm still searching and waiting for. Hopefully, reel imitates real and my patience can yield results one day, allowing me to find the 'Him', my Platonic 'other half'.

2008-02-29T02:06:00.001+08:00

Happy Birthday to all celebrating their birthdays today!

After all, you only get to celebrate it once every 4 years... hehee... :)

2008-02-28T14:22:00.001+08:00

What does happiness means?

2008-02-20T22:58:00.003+08:00

According to Wikipedia, Happiness is emotion in which one experiences feelings ranging from contentment and satisfaction to bliss and intense joy. This definition is, however, a synonymous one. A more clarified one is almost impossible to conceive due to the capacity by which a human can allocate the correct words into an appropriate and meritable sentence that would describe happiness.

Haha... such a 'cheem' definition for a simple emotion. Indeed, happiness means different things to different people.

Today, I had dinner with my girlfriends from secondary school. We have all left school for over 10 years already and we are all at different stages of life. One of them is awaiting the birth of her baby girl, another two are in relationships and me, the happy single. Looking at how far we have come, I feel happy for my friends that they are contented with where Life has led them to.

On the way home, I can't help musing about what happiness could mean to different people. For some, it can be being happily settled in their roles as mothers, wives and daughters. They may define their identity in their relationship with others (people around them).

For some, the fear of loneliness may drive them to find happiness in being in a relationship, even if it seems so clear to others that there is clearly no future in the relationship.

Seriously, I think the key to happiness in really contentment. As long as we are contented in what we have, it's happiness.

However, there are many unhappy people around because they are all chasing elusive dreams like waiting to find Mr 'Right' (which seems more like Mr 'Perfect'), chasing their millions, chasing after promotions etc.

After observing many married and attached friends (happily so or otherwise!), I've learnt that there is really no Mr 'Right'. There is only Mr 'Right' for you. Afterall, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. However, if we waste too much time looking out for Mr 'Perfect', we may actually miss Mr 'Right For Us'. While it's true that tall, dark, handsome, rich and spiffy dresser are very attractive qualities, they are also not qualities that build foundations for marriage. There are more important qualities to build a marriage like being generous, giving, caring, gentle etc.

Chasing millions and promotions are also not a way to be happy. I've been through the stage of chasing for promotions and higher salaries only to find myself extremely fatigued by that experience. Now, I just want to do my best at my work cos I want to put the pupils' interest first. If promotions, increments and bonus come, then praise God for more money.

In fact, I don't even wish to to have a responsibility at work if I can help it. I think I've been pushing myself too hard the last 5 years and now, I just wanna take a back seat a little. To me, happiness now is finding time to do the things I like such as planning quality lessons I can be proud of, completing my marking on time, going to the gym, giving tuitions (allows me to teach subjects I otherwise have no chance to do so in school), watching my favourite Korean dramas, go dancing when I feel like it, watch movie marathons when the mood strikes, go on holidays when I can afford to... most important of all, being paid a salary that matches the kind of work that I do.

Realistically speaking, while we cannot worship money, I'd rather be miserable and rich than miserable and poor. After all, with money, there is a certain level of happiness we can buy. Not worrying about where your next meal comes from is a very great happiness already!

Happiness can really be very simple. The key: Contentment.

Teacher mocks 'poor' essays by pupils in blog

2008-02-18T22:38:00.002+08:00

fron http://www.asiaone.com/News/Education/Story/A1Story20080218-50182.html

A teacher has come under fire after his blog entry mocking his Primary 3 pupils was discovered and its URL passed to other netizens. The relief teacher had posted online four excerpts from different compositions written by his pupils and accompanying them, he had commented: "I have three terribly ridiculous compositions... a source of entertainment, I should say... I will type it out... no corrections or whatsoever... enjoy!" He later added a fourth composition.

A primary school teacher who only wanted to be known as Ms Wong, 28, felt the blogger was not professional. "If he puts it on his blog such that the children can improve, it's okay. If it's to amuse himself, then it's not," she said.

Parents my paper spoke to also had harsh words for the teacher. Madam Jearina Champion, a 36-year-old homemaker whose son is in Primary 6, said: "As a teacher, he has forgotten his role. If he thinks the compositions are bad, he should keep it within the boundaries of the classroom. As a teacher, he should care for the emotional well-being of the child." If her son had been one of the pupils whose compositions were criticised on the blog, she would "have a word quietly with him", if she is close to and respects the teacher. If not, she would "write to the teacher and send a copy (the e-mail) to the principal".

Madam Pee Hian Hwe, a 48-year-old mother of a Primary 5 pupil, agreed. "It's not up to me to say whether teachers have a right to do this on their personal blogs, but I guess the school should have rules as to what teachers can or cannot put online," she said.

Technology... love it or hate it but you never know how many people read your blog until something happens. I always thought of my blog was my outlet for my intellectual ramblings and doubted anyone would be interested in my otherwise mundane life. Until the day I posted an emotional problem I was overcoming...

For me, I had my problem worked out already and it was merely airing of my thoughts. Suddenly, all my friends started asking me if I was ok and it got me puzzled. I was wondering what they were refering to... turns out it was the blog entry. I was touched by the sudden outpouring of concerns. =)

I believe that as adults, you have to use your digression to decide what to blog and what not to blog. As a teacher, I do share about my life as a teacher, sometime good and bad. However, I'm not so insensible to post my kid's names, put up their personal information or their writings. Like doctors have code of ethics, so do teachers!

Death Note Marathon

2008-02-17T01:00:00.002+08:00

Yay! It's finally here! Finally get to catch a Death Note Marathon... Wanted to catch the last one Golden Village organised but couldn't get tickets. Finally able to get tickets for this one!

I'll be catching it at GV Plaza with 2 other friends.

Date: Friday, 22 February
Time: 8.30 pm
Ticket Price: $29 per pair (includes free flow of popcorn & drinks)

Programme:
2030hrs - DEATH NOTE (130 mins)
2240hrs - 20 mins break
2300hrs - DEATH NOTE 2: THE LAST NAME (140 mins)
0120hrs - 20 mins break
0140hrs - DEATH NOTE SPIN OFF - L CHANGE THE WORLD (130 mins)

Hope I survive my first movie marathon... hehee...

Tis a great news indeed!

2008-02-13T23:37:00.002+08:00

I've been finally emplaced... which means that I have been placed on the graduate scale and receiving graduate pay! Yay!

Although the increment isn't much (only $100 plus more), it's still more moolah... definitely worth my last 4 years of pain, stress and sleepness nites.

This also means I can start to think carefully about making plans to achieve my dreams! That's good news coming in pairs for me today!

Praise God!

Hopefully, I'm able to find great teaching opportunities so I can spread my wings a lil! =)

Chinese New Year!

2008-02-10T20:17:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year to everyone!

I like Chinese New Year... It's a great time to catch up with family and friends plus feast on goodies. (diet starts on Monday! haha...) Had a great time honing my mahjong playing skills (but lost out on luck this year!) and playing with friends' babies. I helped to carry baby Chloe and feed her. Chloe even fell asleep in my arms! Passed Mommyhood 1.01 already! =)

However, it can also feel a lil depressing at times... like going to my paternal side of the family. Whenever I go to my paternal grandma's house on the first day, it feels very weird cos we're supposed to be family (same surname, same blood running through our veins) but somehow, they dun feel so family either. My bro and I are the only kids without parents there plus I haven't seen my dad in 4 years either. Only the occasional phonecalls on my birthday. How depressing can it get...

Maybe I should travel next CNY... my spirits needs rejuvenation already....

Study confirms the link between caffeine and miscarriage

2008-01-24T14:21:00.000+08:00

US researchers said Monday they have conclusive proof to show that women who drink a lot of caffeine on a daily basis in the early months of pregnancy have an elevated risk of miscarriage, settling a longstanding debate over the issue.

To be absolutely safe, expectant mothers should avoid caffeinated beverages of any kind during the first five months of pregnancy, the researchers said in a paper published in the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology.

The concept that pregnant women may be putting their babies in jeopardy by drinking large amounts of caffeine on a daily basis is not new.

Previous studies have suggested that consumption of three cups of coffee, or 300mg of caffeine a day, corresponds to an elevated risk of miscarriage compared to women who eschew the stimulant altogether.

However, critics argued that the results of those studies were skewed by the fact that women with healthy pregnancies tended to avoid coffee or caffeine because of morning sickness.

In order to get to the bottom of the issue, researchers with Kaiser Permanente monitored more than 1,000 women as they went through their pregnancies -- all of whom continued drinking coffee or caffeinated beverages in the same quantities as they did before conceiving.

The results were unequivocal.

The researchers found that a woman's risk of miscarriage increased in line with rising daily caffeine consumption, be it from coffee, tea, hot chocolate, caffeinated beverages, or a combination of all of these.

Women who consumed 200mg or more of caffeine a day had twice the risk of losing their baby as women who avoided the stimulant entirely.

For the purposes of this study, 200mg was said to be equivalent to two 7.5 oz cups of coffee or five 12-oz cans of a caffeinated soda drink a day.

"Women should consider giving up caffeine for the first three or four months of their pregnancy," said De-Kun Li, an epidemiologist with Kaiser Permanente's Division of Research in Oakland, California.

"If they have to have caffeine, they should limit it to one cup of coffee a day or switch to decaf."
Li noted that the study did not identify how much caffeine a mother-to-be could safely consume, and urged mothers to play it safe, noting that this is one of the few risk factors for miscarriage that they can control.

Scientists believe caffeine can be detrimental to the fetus because it readily crosses the placenta but cannot be easily metabolized by the fetus's under-developed metabolic system.

The stimulant can also cause blood vessels to constrict, leading to decreased blood flow to the placenta.

Researchers with Kaiser Permanente, a health care organization, studied 1,063 pregnant women between October 1996 and October 1998 for this study.

From: http://news.sg.msn.com/topstories/article.aspx?cp-documentid=1199886

Forgiveness and Restitution

2008-01-13T22:05:00.000+08:00

We must learn to forgive if we want to learn to love... We forgive to let go of the past and embrace our future...

1) Forgiveness is unconditional

2) Forgiveness doesn't minimise the seriousness of the offence committed

3) Forgiveness is not resuming a relationship without change

4) Forgiveness is not forgetting about what has happened

Life is 10% 'what happened' and 90% 'how we react to it'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today's sermon was very good cos God has answered my many frustrations about forgiveness. I was frustrated over a friend who wronged me cos I felt I had forgiven her but I was frustrated by my inability to forget the wrongs. I felt a lil disgusted with myself for being petty. But after today's sermon, I felt liberated cos I felt I could put many things in perspective already.

This friend took advantage of my kindness and went to the extent of borrowing my things without permission. She didn't even have to courtesy to bring back the item she borrowed. It was until she saw me searching for it, then she 'remembered' she 'borrowed' my thing. (How can it be borrow when no permission was asked!?!) By the time she confessed and offered to go home to get it for me, I was already late for my gathering.

The best part... she didn't seem sorry for taking my thing for her use without permission. She only told me she felt 'pai seh' or embarassed. That's not the same as 'I'm sorry'. It might have seemed like it meant the same to her but it definitely didn't mean the same to me!

At another incident, I went out with some friends for supper and asked her if she was joining us. At first, she didn't want to go so I asked her if she wanted to spend more time with her bf teasingly. After that, she joined us so I didn't think much about it. The best part? I was scolded by her bf later for 'forcing' her to go cos I teased her! I was like 'What the $#%^&^?'

Since then, I have given her a wide berth and till this day, we don't exchange more than a few sentences. I just felt as if I had nothing else to say to her already...

Now in retrospective, especially after today's sermon, I realise that it was not unforgiveness but simply a breach of trust that had caused the wide berth. I'm not one of those who can communicate well with people I can no longer trust. Plus, she has also not done proper restitution. She simply bought me a pack of chocolates... It might have been some form of restitution to her but not to me. I felt that she was brushing aside a serious matter like breach of trust with something insignificant.

Perhaps she didn't even realise what the problem was! To her, she just thinks I'm angry with her so she has also gone out of the way to avoid me. It's fine with me cos if she doesn't seem to know what the problem is, then we can never be good friends cos our frequency is not in sync. For friends like Jasmine and April, we can become very close friends, almost like sisters, cos our frequency is in sync with each others. So, for me and this friend, that's that...

I also made restitution with another friend I have not seen in 5 years today. Before I met him, I was very apprehensive cos I didn't know what to expect. But after meeting him today, I realise that I have packed up all feelings for him (good and bad) into a coffin and cremated it a long time. I can remain unaffected by things he say... like when he was talking about his wife and son.

In fact, after seeing him today, I realised that things between us could never have worked out cos we were innately very different people. His priorities and mine were always different but I clung on and accomodated for 4 years cos I didn't want to 'lose my investment'. I felt that as long as I worked hard, I could work things out with him.

Anyway, I was glad that things never worked out cos I would have been miserable if I married him. My mom was telling me that I accomodated so much in the relationship that I lost myself in the process. In the last 5 years, I have redirected my life's focus and rebuilt myself. The me that I am today has moved on so much that the girl I was 5 years back is simply a shadow from my past.

In the last 5 years, I've made bad emotional investments, having loved and lost. But each time, I've bounced back stronger and faster. Now, I'm not as emotionally frail and I have learnt how to open up my eyes much more and to make better emotional investments.

I've been told by some friends that I'm simply too picky. The truth is there is a certain quality of life I want for myself to live. Now, I'm living up the quality I want and I'm no longer willing to settle for second or third best. If I cannot live up my current quality or have it better, then I'm willing to remain single and happy than married and miserable.

Although it has taken me the last 5 years to fully figure it out, I'm glad that at 26 years, I'm still young enough to get things right and live right. I didn't have to wait till I'm 50 to figure this out.

I have made restitution with myself for the last 6 months and I'm glad I had. Now, I can truly say I'm in love with myself. I've learnt how to prioritise my life and live it in fulfilment. I can truly say that I no longer live for the recognition of others. As long as it's right and I am not conscience-stricken, I think I can live with myself.

C'est la vie!

Pros and Cons of Afternoon Session

2008-01-12T00:31:00.000+08:00

The interesting thing about afternoon session is that I apparently an extra 2 hours and 15 minutes everyday! Dun ask me how I came out with this figure... I didn't. April's mom did some form of calculation from the time we leave home to the time we return and this figure popped out.

Pros of Afternoon Session:

1) Can sleep in later... although it's only an extra 1 and the half hour more...

2) Can plan driving lessons in the mornings... no peak hour charge

3) Visit the bank in the morning

Cons of Afternoon Session:

1) Only knock off at 7 plus... Can only make it for the 9 pm gym class (as compared to the 6.30 one last year)

2) Cannot plan facials, body treatments, massages or hair treatment on week nights (last appoint at 6.30 or 7 pm)

3) Spend weekends going for facials, body treatments, massages or hair treatment (make my weekends very cramp with things to do) - not enough time to relax during the weekends

4) Cannot plan tuition on week nights - not enough time to relax during the weekends

5) Cannot stay back to mark books. Can only come in earlier the next day (doesn't feel any different from morning session)

6) Cannot come back earlier to watch my 7 pm Korean dramas on Channel U - need to resort to taping (then have to stay up to clear tapes)

Verdict? I still prefer being in the morning session... Hopefully we can have a chance to go single session again... :(

2008-01-08T21:20:00.000+08:00

Now that I no longer have to study, I feel a lil bored at times... especially on Tues nites when I dun have to rush for classes any more.

Thank God for Facebook. I've been very entertained by my facebook lately... from superpoking to feeding my pets to petting other's pets! It's even more fun than friendster. There are a lot more applications to download and things to do online. When I first started, I got a lil frustrated. Now, I'm getting the hang of it so it's becoming more fun.

As for school, I'm starting to settle down and get into the work routine. But I'm still not running at full speed... more like 30 km/h. I think I have really rested during the Dec hols until I can't tune back in to school. :p

Hopefully, I'll be more settled as the year progresses...

I've survived my first week in school!

2008-01-06T19:36:00.000+08:00

I'm so glad to have survived my first week in school... even though it is a 3 day work week... guess I can't complain on that account.

I'm doing double English this year... while it may be tiring, I love it! Cos English is my pet subject. I have 2 classes to take care of, one is my form class, the other is my English class. However, since the form teacher is a Chinese teacher who does not teach the kids, I end up doing the form teacher duties for that class.

The kids I have this year are also very cute... very funny antics from them sometimes that brings a smile to your face. Think this year is definitely going to be a better year when it comes to the kids...

Other good news... my letter from SIM came so I can finally submit my application for emplacement. That means more $$$ for the work I am doing now and hooray to no more studying!

Actually... not quite true. My studying goals for 2008 is to get my driving license by June and then sign up Japanese classes. I'm currently looking for opportunities to teach in Japan next year so they might come in handy.

Hopefully, in 2009, I get an overseas teaching opportunity... keeping my fingers crossed till then! In the meanwhile, I must survive 2008 first!

What a way to start the new year!

2008-01-01T21:13:00.000+08:00

Since I've gone back to school, I've been nursing a really nasty flu bug. It has left me coughing, sneezing and feverish since last Thursday.

Yesterday, while everyone was at my aunt's place counting down to the new year, I was counting down alone at home. Didn't want to be anywhere.

Tomorrow school starts... pray for good health and less stress and MCs this year...

2007-12-26T12:53:00.000+08:00

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagi ne the picturesque scene. One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.'

Epilogue: There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can' t buy.

Drop in call bookings as higher taxi fares kick in

2007-12-18T15:03:00.000+08:00

By Wong Mun Wai, Channel NewsAsia

Singapore's largest taxi operator, ComfortDelGro, has seen a drop in call bookings during the morning peak hours, largely due to the higher taxi fares which kicked in on Monday. However, the company has described this as an expected knee-jerk reaction.

The higher fares hit commuters the hardest during the peak hours. Commuters like Benson An, who takes the taxi almost four times a week from home to work said that the higher fares will add another 10 per cent to his transport expenses. Thus, he said that he would try to reduce his cab trips by at least 50 per cent and turn to buses or the MRT when he travels.

With more commuters opting for an alternative mode of transport, ComfortDelgro revealed that a decrease of 20 per cent in call bookings was recorded on Monday morning, compared to last Monday. The higher fees have also affected other taxi operators. Singapore's second-largest taxi operator, SMRT, which has yet to increase its fares, has also reported a drop in call bookings. It received 200 fewer calls between 7am and 9am, compared to last Monday.

Among the changes announced by ComfortDelgro was the reduction of peak hour booking fees from S$4 to S$3.50 in order to encourage more call bookings. During off-peak hours, flagging down a Comfort taxi will now cost commuters some 10 per cent more. Meanwhile, those travelling during peak hours will now pay between 18 and 49 per cent higher. Also, instead of a S$2 flat rate for the morning and evening peak hour surcharge, it has been revised to 35 per cent of the metered fare.

While some taxi drivers wonder if passengers will still take cabs like before, one cabbie predicted that he could possibly earn S$50 more a day. Meanwhile, others said it was too early to expect a rise in earnings and will only be able to tell if they are making profits or losses after three days to a week. Other taxi companies that will be raising their fares by Christmas are SMRT, Trans-cab, Premier and SMART Cab. - CNA/vm

It was raining cats and dogs yesterday so I had to take a cab from Phillip Street to Woodslands Drive 60. Started waiting for a at 4.30 pm cos I had to be in Woodlands by 5.15 pm. By 4.50 pm, no cabs came so I started calling. All lines were engaged and as for the only one I could get through (SMART cab), no cabs responded.

At that time, a Comfort cab came so I boarded. By the time I got to Woodlands, my cab fare was $28.40!!!! ^%$^$^#%$

I never thought I had to pay so much was cab! I have never in my life paid so much!

Break down of the cab fare:
Fare Charge: $18.80
CBD Charge: $3
Peak Hour: $6.60 (that's the 35%)

Verdict: I am so not going to take a cab during peak hours unless my life depends on it! @^%@^%$#

Lessons in Logic

2007-12-18T00:40:00.000+08:00

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate
But, if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .....

I was born intelligent - education ruined me.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .....

Practice makes perfect..... But nobody's perfect.....
So why practice?

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .....

If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .....

Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .....

How come 'abbreviated' is such a long word?

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .....

Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .....

One should love animals. They are so tasty.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .....

Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .....

Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .....

The wise never marry.
And when they marry they become otherwise.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .....

Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .....

Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .....

'Your future depends on your dreams'
So go to sleep!

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .....

There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .....

'Hard work never killed anybody'
But why take the risk?

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .....

'Work fascinates me'
I can look at it for hours

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .....

God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .....

The more you learn, the more you know.
The more you know, the more you forget.
The more you forget, the less you know.
So... why learn?

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .....

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say........

7 year itch?

2007-12-13T23:50:00.000+08:00

I've heard of 7 year itch in marriages but 7 year itch in teaching?

I'm experiencing that right now where after 7 years, I kinda dunno what I want out of my career. I've tried the leadership track where I've covered HOD duties for the last 2 years. Frankly, I gotta admit I like the challenge of the work... appeals to the control freak in me. But it's very tiring and sometimes, I'm not too sure if it's all worth it. My health has also suffered as a result of the stress and I've been advised by my doctors (note the plural use!) to watch it and take it easy. They have been nagging at me for the last 2 years!

Lately, seeing my friend and mentor end up in hospital due to a recurring tumour has really put a wake-up call to the advice I've previously taken for granted. I'm really thinking about this very carefully as I really dun hope to have the stress act up strangely in my body, causing cancers or heart diseases.

Maybe it's time to really think about my Plan B in teaching aka teaching English overseas. I've dreamt of it for 7 years and maybe it's time to consider it as a real option?

I've been searching and it seems like Korea comes highly recommended. Maybe it great for the Korean Drama freak in me! Haha....

Must mull and stew over this carefully with much prayers! Plus, I have to clear my exams this time round so I can graduate first... otherwise, it's still poofs of dreams...

Interesting words of wisdom! For the men out there... enjoy!

2007-12-08T18:36:00.000+08:00

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
David Bissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Sacha Guitry

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Anonymous (must be from a man! kekee...)

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
Dumas

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Sigmund Freud

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Anonymous

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
Sam Kinison

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.
James Holt McGavran

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it.
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Patrick Murray

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Nash

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Anonymous

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Rodney Dangerfield

A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted".
Next day, he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

2007-12-06T13:22:00.000+08:00

I just realised the depth of my OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)! I just survive 24 hours without sleep just to complete my Korean Drama, Seo Dong Yo or Ballad of Seo Dong. I'm a real sucker for romantic drama... especially the epic ones.

The lead characters!

Synopsis of the story! Compliments of http://wiki.d-addicts.com/Ballad_Of_Suh_Dong

The SBS drama "Sodongyo", translated as "Sodong's Song", has much in common with "Jewel in the Palace". Both deal with similar themes: a success story of a lower class person rising to the top, a love that transcends social position, a secret of birth and a rivalry between main characters.

However, whereas "Jewel" is set in the Choson Kingdom (1392-1910), "Sodongyo" takes place in the Paekche Kingdom (18 B.C. - A.D 660), a first for a TV drama. Aside from the romance between a princess and a commoner, an interesting part of the drama is that it focuses on a fierce technology war almost 1,500 years ago.

The protagonist is Sodong, a commoner who strives to become a top technician. Sodong later became King Mu, the 30th king of Paekche as he was finally recognized as of royal birth.

The main background of the drama is Taehaksa, Paekche's prestigious institute of science technology. As it possessed and developed the most up-to-date technology at that time, the institute was always in danger of industrial espionage from other countries like the Koguryo Kingdom and the Silla Kingdom.

"The 21st century is an era of information technology. The viewers will be able to see not only the splendidly rich culture of the Paekche Kingdom but also their ancestors' passion for information technology, which is in line with today's trend", said the drama's writer Kim.

The drama also reveals the role of monks as industrial spies at that time, an aspect of monks in the past that is rarely focused 0n.

"Monks were the advance guards of intelligence war at that time. The leaders of the three countries made the best use of the monks' mobility as they were allowed to move freely from country to country on sacred missions", said Kim.

The drama also features a character who was originally from the Silla Kingdom (57 B.C. - A.D 935) but went over to Paekche as a child and smuggled himself into Taehaksa, concentrating on secretly getting out high-quality information over a long time.

Various agricultural technologies considered the most up-to-date at that time also appear in the drama.

In some episodes, to solve the problems of excessive dryness of the land, they released earthworms, and used ondol (hot floor) for the first time to decrease the humidity of homes.

"Sodongyo" is said to be one of Korea's oldest folk songs. According to Samgukyusa (The Memorabilia of the Three Kingdoms) from the Silla Kingdom, the song was written by Sodong, a commoner from the Paekche Kingdom. Hearing that Princess Sonhwa, a daughter of King Chinpyong of the Silla Kingdom was beautiful, he writes a song saying that the princess visits Sodong's room every night and spreads the song around. When her father hears the song, he condemns the princess to exile. Sodong picks her up and takes her to Paekche, and they become the royal couple of the country.

Yesterday was a day for sad news...

2007-11-26T22:25:00.000+08:00

1) My England trip is cancelled because my poor friend is back in the hospital. She is undergoing surgery now. I hope she pulls through and God will annoint the surgeons with the skill to remove as much of the tumour as possible.

2) My back is in pain due to the strain from packing. Had to miss cell group, church and a colleague's wedding and spent my sunday lying in bed... what a bummer!

3) Depressing news... 5 Dragon boaters died in Cambodia. It's sad to see lives lost at their prime... I teared when I saw their bodies fished out of the river. That was the same river I travelled in almost 6 months ago. The only consolation was they died doing what they loved best... still, it's always sad to see young lives being lost...

Last weeks in school

2007-11-18T01:52:00.000+08:00

My last week at school was complete madness...

Mon and Tues:

I was frantically preparing for my exams... last minute, as usual... It was so hectic studying last minute and trying to cramp everything till my mind was ready to explode...

Finally, when Tues came, I was so stressed that I could not study. I threw in the towel at 3.30pm and headed off to Holland V for some destress time. When I reached the exam venue, I was so nervous that I was shaking and the butterflies were literally flying out of my mouth... haha...

It might seem strange that I should be nervous after so many exams but I was really scared... I was afraid that I would not feel suficiently prepared. Before I began my paper, I prayed...

Lo and Behold, God really blessed me with wisdom to complete the paper. I was so relieved that I was able to answer the 4 questions which I selected. I'm not sure what kinda grades I would get but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'll pass...

If I pass, by God's grace, I would have finally graduated... no more studying... until I decide to begin my Master's.

Wed:

Mad rehearsal run in the morning, followed by me packing off to NUS's University Cultural Centre to prepare the logistics for our end of year musical. I was frezzing my butt off in the cold cold hall, while waiting for the man to set up the lights. After that, I had to lay out set.

Afternoon, when the kids arrived, it was mad rehearsal time. Mic test for 12 wireless mics, light and sound run, costume change run etc. By the time everything was over, it was 9 pm. I had to send the kiddos back to school. Luckily, my v kind colleague, Gabriel, got his father to drop me home. This helped to preserve some energy for Thurs.

Thurs:

Day of the actual end of year musical. I was so stressed that I slept v little. I went to bed at 3 am and got up at 5.30am. Went into school early and started work. When we reached UCC at 9 am, it was costume change and another round of lights and sound test. After that, we broke off for lunch and rest.

After lunch, it was time to get the kids dressed, ready etc and final peptalk before they appear on stage. When they performed, I cried backstage cos I was so proud of each and everyone of them. I felt like the expectant mom who has just completed her labour!

It was a pregnancy journey of sorts... the preparation, liaising with vendor and trainer, buying costumes, sewing costumes... I was the producer and part-director (along with my trainer, Faith, and Gabriel). I was really fearful before this cos to me, this was the year where the pupils were so unprepared. The kids were not disciplined and the harder we pushed them, the more they fell apart. I had v little confidence. But I must say, they proved me wrong. They rose to the occasion when it was needed the most (performance afternoon!).

Just when I thought I had loaded the lorry, sent things back to school and return the panels we loaned, the lorry had to break down... at the left lane, at a one way street junction... real bummer... Luckily, there was road closure so the police were able to help us direct the traffic as well while my collegue went to buy diesel. After that, the battery was too weak to pump the fuel so we had to call for the tow truck.

By the time everything was finished and we got back to school, it was already 9.15 pm. By the time I had my dinner, it was 10.30 pm - the latest time I ever had dinner.

Fri:

The most nostalgic day for my school - our closing ceremony. I started the day by making my children help me to clean the class. Then, we had prize giving day followed by class party. I was so tired that I ordered cheeseburger happy meal for all the kids and made them sit down with me to eat.

After that, we had the closing ceremony. When we sung the school song for the last time and folded the flag, I couldn't stop crying... Afterall, it was my second home for the last 4 and the half years... The funniest thing, I never wanted to be here in the first place. I was gearing up for a famous school so I could be proud to say I was teaching there... so shallow rite? Haha...

But in my last 4 and the half years, I realised that God had a purpose for me in my school. It was a school where the children really needed the teacher. The teacher was more than the one who taught them academic subjects, we were their surrogate of sorts. In extreme cases, I have told parents off as they have neglected their children.

My joys.... when my children improve their scores, behave well etc. My class is not a class where pass grades could be possible. By taking their marks and checking for progress, each child would be able to see their improvement and be motivated to studying harder.

Well... everything is in God's hands!

A Mayonnaise Jar Story

2007-11-11T11:54:00.000+08:00

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large & empty mayonnaise jar & proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles & poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand & poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table & poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things -- your family, your children, your health, your friends, & your favorite passions -- things that if everything else was lost & only they remained, your life would still be full."

"The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, & your car. The sand is everything else -- the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life."

"If you spend all your time & energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house & fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand & inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

This is a wonderful story and the timing is kinda timely... in the midst of being sick and flu-bugged... I really had a lot of time to think about a lot of things. There are lots to say about being frustrated. I believe God gives us moments of frustrations so we can really drop everything in life to re-prioritize what's important to us.

After resting the whole of yesterday, I realised that I've spent a lot of time on the "pebbles" and "sand" in my life and missed out the "golf balls".

At least, I am taking steps towards it. I've been spending a lot of time with my mom, with close friends and meeting them up for meals occassionally. I'm also going off to England in December with my close friend and teacher, to spend time with her and her family.

Indeed, where everything fails you in life, it is only your friends and family who will remain by your side, supporting you always. The last thing I want is to regret not spending enough time with them while I still can...

Tis the season for good news!

2007-11-08T23:06:00.000+08:00

Good news #1:

Best friend is having a baby gal, as I predicted! I feel so happy for her and I really hope the rest of the pregnancy months and the delivery will be smooth!

Good news #2:

My best buddy at work is getting married! 6 Dec 2008! She going to make a deposit for the ballroom this weekend! I feel so happy for her because she has been with her fiance for so many years and they are finally tying the knot!

In view of such great news, there is hope for me that there's still a special someone out there for me... kekee...

Good news #3:

After weeks of 'ding-donging', my end of the year travel plans are finally confirmed. I'll to off to England from 7 Dec to 17 Dec. I really can't wait to go!

I've always wanted to go but could not afford. I had to dump all money into my studies every semester. Now that I can, all thanks to my connect plan from the government, I am going! I really need a break after so many years of hard work and being holiday deprived... :(

This is my pseudo-graduation trip...considering that I will only know my results on late Dec. The best part of this is:

1) I'll be back in time for Bro's birthday!

2) I met angels who will sponsored accomodations and food for me... all I had to do was to pay for my air fare. Thank God for the blessing!

Good news #4:

I finally cleared all my assignments. Thank God for the favour in my studies and I was able to score well in my assignments. Despite it being a more difficult module, my grades were the highest of all my assignments in the last 4 years.

Now... I must bravely battle the exams next Tuesday. I am believing for a miracle to clear the paper so I can finally graduate!

I feel really blessed to be surrounded with good news... I'm believing in more to come!

2007-10-28T21:20:00.000+08:00

I just realised that I haven't blogged in ages... since July to be precise...

My life so far...

Things have been extremely for me. Since I started lessons for my final semester, I haven't had time to continue my driving lessons so it my driving plans have to be put on hold. My studies this semester has been really tough! I barely have time to read my books. Plus the assignments have been tough. I have to read the books, digest the info before I can write. Half the time, I'm struggling cos I lack inspiration to write. Thankfully, by the grace of God, I survived my three assignments and have scored well for both.

Tis the season to be mommies... I have 4 colleagues who are pregnant and one has given birth already. Her little princess, Luvyna, is so cute! My best friend, who got married in June, is also pregnant now! So I'm looking forward to next March for my god-child to arrive. Someone for me to dote on...

Anyway, things are like roller-coaster for me... some good and some bad... just have to be positive and take the good with the bad... When in doubt, pray...

2007-07-10T22:49:00.000+08:00

I PASSED MY BASIC THEORY!!!

On my first attempt... I must add... hahaha

Here's one step closer to my dream!

Time to look out for my dream car? ;P

the azanmig hmuan mnid

2007-07-09T22:16:00.000+08:00

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy. It dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are. The olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

the point about men and women

2007-07-05T19:58:00.000+08:00

On my way home today, I was just thinking about gender issues... don't ask why. Strange topics like that just simply pop into my head...

The farnie thing about men and women today is while equality of the sexes is strongly advocated (I am a firm believer of this!), when it comes to relationship matters, most men and women suddenly revert to Neanderthal beliefs.

Issue #1

Most women still expect men to make the first move.

Woe to the gal who has the guts to go up to the man and ask him out. I am not saying then it is wrong for women to make the first move. In fact, I will applaud the gal who does so. You go, gal! I just simply dun believe in it cos it doesn't work for me personally. I have tried this out and got a rejection right in my face. Therefore, I firmly believe men have to make the first move.

Issue #2

Women expect equal partnership but they still expect pampering.

Frankly, women are probably the most oxymoronic creatures in this world. I'm also speaking for myself! We expect to be taken seriously, our views to be heard etc. However, we do have softer natures where we will and can cry out of sheer frustration at times. This are also the most frustrating moments for men.

Scenario 1 - Gal goes boo hoo hoo over her problems. She expects her man to comfort her. Unfortunately, being male, he simply just doesn't know what to do at moments like this. He just offer her a tissue and hold her, lest he says the wrong thing that can detonate a nuclear bomb. Gal rebutts, "Why can't you say something to comfort me? You're so insensitive!" The innocent guy just 'kena' for keeping quiet.

Scenario 2 - Gal goes boo hoo hoo over her problems. She wails and bitches about her problems. 'Superman to the rescue' will simply run down a list of solutions to solve her problem. Gal wails even more. "All I wanted was for you to comfort me? Couldn't you do that? You're so insensitive!" The poor guy also 'kena' for trying to be Superman.

Why do you think I say women are oxymoronic? Name me another animal who does these things. I can be Wonder Woman at work but when it comes to relationships, I am a 'xiao nu ren'. I need to be pampered. I still expect my guys to pay for dinner, I like my dates to drive, I like men who a good dressers etc.

Not that I am materialistic... paying for dates indicates the guy's interest in you. After all, if he is so stingy on dates, I really can't imagine the kind of boyfriend, husband and father he will be. Paying for dates and taking care of my welfare shows me how good a provider he is. It's a strong point when it comes to marriage.

As for driving... I have little patience with public transport. I take it everyday and it frustrates me. When you are carrying heavy things, bus stops always seem further than they actually are. When you need a cab, they never seem to appear. This is why I am learning how to drive now. I am so getting a car when I get my license. If I have a car and a license, shouldn't my date have one? How romantic is it for me to drive him around... Again, I am not stingy. It's simply a question of taking care of my welfare and providing for me - a strong point when it comes to marriage.

Revelation Moment: This explains why I still single. I have not found a man like that, unlike my 'just married' buddy. Her hubby is the ultimate provider - financially and emotionally. I just haven't had the good fortune of finding a good provider, capable of being a good boyfriend, husband and father. I'm still holding out for the guy for me. I'm done with relationships that don't have any marriage destination. It's simply a waste of time. Until I find the guy, I contented to simply live my life, my way.

It's so strange that I finally got all my thoughts sorted out when I was in Cambodia. Looking at the lives of the people there, it's a reminder that life is just too short to be wasted. I want my life to have value every waking moment. To me, a wasted life is one that had no positive impact on anyone's life... I want to be able to look back on my life, look at the things I've done and be pleased that there was a purpose to my existence in this life.

to marriage

2007-07-05T19:32:00.000+08:00

2 Saturdays ago, 23 June, my best friend finally got married... Watching her and her hubby together, I must say they were really a very good looking and sweet couple... Marital bliss was literally plastered on their faces...

The night before, I had dinner at her place and we had a manicure and pedicure party with her sisters. It was fun because it felt like I suddenly had 2 younger sisters... lolz... We were really disciplined. By ten, it was lights out for the bride and the mom. The rest of us were planning the 'sabo' sequence of events... afterall, what's a wedding without the 'sabo'...

The next morning, I was the early bird who got up early to prepare the 'sabo' stuff. To symbolise the 'sour, sweet, bitter and spiciness' of love, this was what we prepared:

Sour - lemon juice (so kind of us, rite?)
Sweet - sugar + water (it was diabetes inducing!)
Bitter - bittergourd juice (must drink to health...)

and the most deadly of all...

Spiciness - chilli padi + hot water

All these were placed in deceptively lovely shooters... lolz...

Not to forget the games we played like 'Find the Keys' (Stage 1: at the door), 'Limbo Rock' (Stage 2: at the hall), 'Drink the shooters' (Stage 3: at the corridor) and finally 'Sing a song' (Stage 4: outside the bridal room)

After that we went to the groom's place for tea ceremony before returning back to the bride's place for another round of tea ceremony. At about 2 pm, we headed for the hotel, Four Seasons. I am so impressed with their rooms... it is so absolutely gorgeous!

By 6. 30pm, it was time for the solemnisation of the marriage. When I saw them exchanged rings, I couldn't help tearing... tears of joy. When you have known someone for 11 years, it really feels like watching your sister get married. Especially knowing that he is a great guy, I am definitely happy for her.

During the reception, they had a champagne bar which was so classy... a real great way to begin the dinner. During the dinner, the food was good. I really enjoyed it very much. After the dinner, we went up to the room with the bride while the groom was dragged to KTV (decent ones!) by his 'pig & dog' friends. The dinner which they brought it for my friend was really good!

To everyone intending to hold their wedding ceremony, do go to Four Seasons. The decor is classy, the food is delicious, the bridal suite is gorgeous... what more can I say...

On the theme on marriage, here are some jokes about marriage.. enjoy!

Wife: What are you doing?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing ...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour !
Husband : I was looking for the expiry date.

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Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure ! What are my choices ?
Wife : Yes and no.

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Wife: You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why ?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture, and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you ?
Hubby: Yes! I see your picture and ask myself --- what other problem can be greater than this one ?

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Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet !

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Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

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A newly married man asked his wife " Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune ? "
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, " I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE ! "

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Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the early warning.

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A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of humor.

Twelve Valuable Steps to Raise Your Self Esteem

2007-06-27T21:28:00.000+08:00

As adults, we can choose the messages we accept or reject.

As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission."

"Building high self-esteem is a process, not something you can develop overnight," says Jeffrey Keller. "Yet, I believe every person has the capacity of high self-esteem. The question is, are you ready to make a commitment to increase your self-esteem?"

If your answer is yes, here are 12 steps to get you started:

Step One

Stop comparing yourself with other people.

There will always be some people who have more than you and some who have less. If you play the comparison game, you'll run into too many "opponents" you can't defeat.

Step Two

Stop putting yourself down.

You can't develop high self-esteem if you repeat negative phrases about yourself and your abilities. Whether speaking about your appearances, your career, your relationships, your financial situation, or any other aspects of your life, avoid self-deprecating comments.

Step Three

Accept all compliments with "thank you."

Ever received a compliment and replied," Oh, it was nothing." When you reject a compliment, the message you give yourself is that you are not worthy of praise. Respond to all compliments with a simple Thank You."

Step Four

Use affirmations to enhance your self-esteem.

On the back of a business card or small index card, write out a statement such as "I like and accept my self." or "I am valuable, lovable person and deserve the best in life." Carry the card with you. Repeat the statement several times during the day, especially at night before going to bed and after getting up in the morning. Whenever you say the affirmation, allow yourself to experience positive feelings about your statement.

Step Five

Take advantage of workshops, books and cassette tape programs on self-esteem.

Whatever material you allow to dominate mind will eventually take root and affect your behavior. If you watch negative television programs or read newspaper reports of murders and business rip off; you will grow cynical and pessimistic. Similarly, if you read books or listen to programs, that are positive in nature, you will take on these characteristics.

Step Six

Associate with positive, supportive people.

When you are surrounded by negative people who constantly put you and your ideas down, your self-esteem is lowered. On the other hand, when you are accepted and encouraged, you feel better about yourself in the best possible environment to raise your self-esteem.

Step Seven

Make a list of your past successes.

This doesn't necessarily have to consist of monumental accomplishments. It can include your "minor victories," like learning to skate, graduating from high school, receiving an award or promotion, reaching a business goal, etc. Read this list often. While reviewing it, close your eyes and recreate the feelings of satisfaction and joy you experienced when you first attained each success.

Step Eight

Make a list of your positive qualities.

Are you honest? Unselfish? Helpful? Creative? Be generous with yourself and write down at least 20 positive qualities. Again, it's important to review this list often. Most people dwell on their inadequacies and then wonder why their life isn't working out. Start focusing on your positive traits and you'll stand a much better chance of achieving what you wish to achieve.

Step Nine

Start giving more.

I'm not talking about money. Rather, I mean that you must begin to give more of yourself to those around your. When you do things for others, you are making a positive contribution and you begin to feel more valuable, which, in turn, lifts your spirits and raises your own self-esteem.

Step Ten

Get involved in work and activities you love.

It's hard to feel good about yourself if your days are spent in work you despise. Self-esteem flourishes when you are engaged in work and activities that you enjoy and make you feel valuable. Even if you can't explore alternative career options at the present time, you can still devote leisure time to hobbies and activities, which you find stimulating and enjoyable.

Step Eleven

Be true to yourself.

Live your own life - not the life others have decided is best for you. You'll never gain your own respect and feel good about yourself if you aren't leading the life you want to lead. If you're making decisions based on getting approval from friends and relatives, you aren't being true to yourself and your self-esteem is lowered.

Step Twelve

Take action!

You won't develop high self-esteem if you sit on the sidelines and back away from challenges. When you take action - regardless of the ensuing result - you feel better about yourself. When you fail to move forward because of fear and anxiety, you'll be frustrated and unhappy - and you will undoubtedly deal a damaging blow to your self-esteem.

The "real you" is a magnificent, unique being with enormous potential and capacity for experiencing love of yourself and extending love to others.

As your self-esteem grows, this "real you" emerges. You begin to take more risks and not be afraid of failure; you aren't as concerned with getting approval of others; your relationships are much more rewarding; you pursue activities that bring you joy and satisfaction; and you will make a positive contribution to the world.

Most importantly, high self esteem brings you peace of mind ... when you're alone, you truly appreciate the person you're with - yourself.

home sweet home...

2007-06-19T14:55:00.000+08:00

I'm finally home from my 5D/4N trip to Cambodia. Pictures will be up later.

I must say that this has really been a very enlightening trip for me. I gotta admit that I was shaken by the extent of the poverty I saw. Yet, I was impressed by the tenacity of the people there...

Day 1

Met some of my group mates and had breakfast with them... was quite glad my group mates were really nice people. There wasn't any annoying or anti-social peeps on the trip.

On the plane, I met my roomie and she turns out to be my secondary school senior. Recalling fond memeories of our secondary school definitely helped us to break ice. She is a really nice gal and I was glad I got a nice roomie... we shared rooms for the next 4 nites.

Touching down, we visited the Angkor Silk Farm where we were educated on the intricate processes of silk making. Thereafter, we went to the Les Artisan d'Angkor where we learnt more about wood-working, stone carving and polychroming of objects.

Next, we went off for lunch and then back to the hotel for a short rest. About 3 pm (Cambodian Time, 1 hr behind Singapore Time), we left for the Floating Village of Chong Khneas, along the Tonle Sap Lake. It was a very humbling trip for me. Along the way, we saw the houses that the country folks lived in. It was so small and heart-wrenching. My own bedroom is even bigger than their small little house.

Along the Floating Village, I was amazed by the resourcefulness of the Cambodian people. They lived on the boats so that their house would float with them as the lake floods during the monsoon seasons. I was also struck by how simple their lives were. Play-time for the children were simply swinging on the hammock! The older boys would play pool at the "community centre / games centre" on a boat.

I now truly understood the meaning of the river as a source of life for the people. The people literally live off the river... They cook, wash and bathe from the river, do their " big and small business" into the river and fish from it.

We also saw the floating boats which went from "house" to "house" to sell goods. The Cambodians knew we were tourists so they chased our cruise boat to get us to buy food and drinks from them. The children leaped off their boat and clung on to our boat. These kids were really tenacious man!

After the boat trip, we adjourned to dinner with the Aspara Dance Show. Kinda reminds me of Balinese dances... We also went off for massage after that. It was Thai massage for US$6 per hour. It was my first Thai massage and I was shocked that it was rather painful. Left me some bruises for memories... lolz. But I must admit that I really felt very relaxed after that.

When we finally returned to the hotel, we heard voices along the corridor so my roomie and I went out to investigate. A bunch of them were playing games in the room. My roomie and I joined them to get to know them.

Day 2

After breakfast, we visited Angkor Thom, the ancient capital of Khmer. In the afternoon, we visited Angkor Wat. It was really beautiful and amazing standing on ancient relics and to witness the restoration work taken to save these relics. It was a sureal experience for me...

We had dinner before going off for massage again... This time, this place we went to wasn't as good as the first night. When we came back, we were invited yet again to play games but we din go cos we were too tired...

Day 3

After breakfast, we travelled by coach to Phnom Penh. The ride was a interesting experience. First, our coach was stopped by the police because we did not have a tour guide travelling with us to Phnom Penh. After some arguing with the police and phone calls to the company, we were on our way. Barely an hour later, our coach tyre experienced a puncture at the outskirts. Our driver had to change the tyre with a few of our heroic boys and gals.

The changing of tyre was a series of mishaps... first, the cross-bar and the part to turn the bolt were dented. He had to wait for another coach to stop so he could borrow parts. Then, in the midst of changing the tyre, he cut himself on the arms and his slipper also broke... We all felt so sorry for him so we increased the tips we gave him.

By the time we reach Phnom Penh, I was having a headache... Thankfully, lunch was good so I felt a lot better after that. The activities after lunch was a little depressing. We visited the Tuol Sleng Museum and the Killing Fields of Choeung Uk. It was a dark Cambodian past and I felt very sicken by the horrors human beings can inflict on another human. Although one can say that the horrors should be laid to rest since it's history, history has proven to often repeat itself in different forms, different ways. I just hope that in this lifetime, I will never have to hear of such horrors again...

Dinner was a fantastic restaurant with fantastic ambience... I really needed that as a perk-me-up after the afternoon. By night, I was so exhausted that I collapsed in bed by 10pm.

Day 4

We visited the Royal Palace and the Silver Pagoda located within the palace grounds. We also visited the National Museum, which contained a vast collection of Khmer art. In the afternoon, we visited the Russian Market (Psah Tuol Thom Pong) and the Central Market (Psah Thmey) where I had a great time shopping and bargaining for price. Only thing I din like... the Russian Market was extremely cramped and claustophobic... I nearly fainted there... lolz..

At night, we went on a Sunset Cruise on the Mekong River, along the Phnom Penh riverfront. The feeling was so surreal that it was beyond words for me... After dinner, I finally got to visit a casino for the first time... Naga World Casino. It was very interesting watching how people play the casino games such as jackpot, bacarat, big/small and roulette. But I had no urge to do so... complete waste of money... lolz

There was a really nice fair across the road with rides, games and food! Much like the pasar malam I remembered when I was young... the pasar malam today no longer have as much rides and games. They mostly sell food, cds, clothes or hardware.

By the time we return to the hotel, I felt a little sad cos we had to pack up... in a flash, my holiday has just breezed past and I have to return to reality already... I only wished that it wasn't so soon... sigh...

I also re-thought a lot of things this holidays and will be re-aligning some aspects of my life to help myself live a fuller life.

Looking forward to hopefully take a short trip in December...

2007-06-09T23:23:00.000+08:00

Your Birthdate: November 20

You are a virtual roller coaster of emotions, and most people enjoy the ride.
Your mood tends to set the tone of the room, and when you're happy, this is a good thing.
When you get in a dark mood, watch out - it's very hard to get you out of it.
It's sometimes hard for you to cheer up, and your gloom can be contagious.

Your strength: Your warm heart

Your weakness: Trouble controlling your emotions

Your power color: Black

Your power symbol: Musical note

Your power month: February

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

2007-06-07T23:06:00.000+08:00

Feeling quite bummed out that this holidays hardly feels like a holiday... been working everyday checking books and files... me thinks it's only a holiday cos I dun see my kids... sigh...

Cambodia... please come sooner... ;P

Here's a lil something to cheer everyone up... no offence to any Malaysians out there... I love Malaysia and have lots of Malaysian friends...

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WHY CHEWING GUM IS BANNED IN SINGAPORE
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A Singaporean was on holiday in Malaysia. He was having his coffee, croissants, bread, butter & jam at the hotel's coffee house. A Malaysian man who was chewing gum, sat down next to him & started a casual conversation.

Malaysian : "You Singaporeans eat the whole bread?"

S'porean : "Of course."

Malaysian : "We don't. In Malaysia, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants & sell them across to Singapore."

The Malaysian then had a smirk on his face while the Singaporean listened in silence.

Malaysian : "Do you eat the jam with the bread?"

S'porean : "Of course."

Malaysian (chuckling): "We don't. In Malaysia, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds & other left-overs in a container, recycle them, transform them into jam, before we sell it across to Singapore."

This time, the Singaporean retorted : "Do you have sex in Malaysia?"

Malaysian : "Why, of course we do"

S'porean : "Do you wear protection"

Malaysian : "Of course! We wear condoms."

S'porean : "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

Malaysian : "Stupid question ! Of course we throw them away."

S'porean : "We don't. In Singapore, the government secretly puts them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum & sell them across to Malaysia, ... & that's the real reason why we banned chewing gum in Singapore."

2007-06-05T23:40:00.001+08:00

Take the time to live ...

2007-06-02T18:22:00.000+08:00

A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Target. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the Target.

We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.

The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in.

"Mom let's run through the rain," she said.

"What?" Mom asked.

"Lets run through the rain!" She repeated.

"No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit," Mom replied.

This young child waited about another minute and repeated, "Mom, let's run through the rain,"

"We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said.

"No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning," the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.

"This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?"

"Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!"

The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes.

Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.

"Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If GOD let's us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing," Mom said.

Then off they ran! We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.

And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.

Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories...

So, don't forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories everyday.

To everything, there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven. They say:

It takes a minute to find a special person,
an hour to appreciate them,
a day to love them,
but an entire life to forget them.

Take the time to run through the rain... Take the time to live!!!

But don't forget to keep in touch with your friends, you never know when you'll need each other!

2007-05-31T10:46:00.000+08:00

You're Right

A husband and wife were involved in a petty argument, both of them unwilling to admit they might be in error.

"I'll admit I'm wrong," the wife told her husband in a conciliatory attempt, "if you'll admit I'm right."

He agreed and, like a gentleman, insisted she go first.

"I'm wrong," she said.

With a twinkle in his eye, he responded, "You're right!"

Question and Answer

A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him.

He asked his father, "How does this boat float"?

The father thought for a moment, then replied, "Don't rightly know, son."

The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father, "How do fish breathe underwater"?

Once again, the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son."

A little later, the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue"?

Again, the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son."

Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, "Dad, do you mind me asking you all of these questions"?

"Of course not, son. If you don't ask questions, you'll never learn anything!"

Rosy

2007-05-20T00:58:00.000+08:00

When I think of Rosy, all I can think of is: To God Be The Glory

She's my college teacher who has been through a lot over the last 10 odd years. I have never met anyone as strong as she is, battling 3 different types of cancer and surviving 12 surgeries. Her body may have been battered and butchered by surgeons but her faith is strong. She is so optimistic and has never stopped believing God for a miracle.

To me, she is already God's miracle child. She is a living testimony that with God, anything is possible. He is Jehovah Shammah and Jehovah Rapha. He is our healer and is always present with us.

During her first cancer scare, she was battling breast and ovarian cancer. She survived that and was back in school teaching after a year. That was when I first met her. Having survived cancer, she taught me to live life to the fullest and how our lives must serve a purpose. Her purpose was in her dedication to her profession and students, moulding and shaping lives. She was the one who taught me how to open up my mind and look beyong the superficial.

The year I left college, she had spots in her liver and lungs. The spot in her liver was removed but not the ones in her lungs. She underwent chemotherapy for that to prevent them from spreading.

The third cancer scare was last January when she had a tumor in her spine. God is good and the surgeon managed to removed most parts of it while using radiation to tackle the rest.

This time, the tumour in her spine returned and she has undergone surgery to remove most parts of it. However, there are still some bits clinging on to the nerves, causing her pain in her right thigh. Just when the orthopedic surgeon has given up hope, God bless her neurosurgeon and modern technology. She will be undergoing radio surgery where gamma rays will be used to blast the tumours away.

However, they would be permanent side effects, from pain to numbness in her right thigh. I am believing God for a miracle for her once again, that the tumours can be removed with minimum side effects.

In all these things which are happening around me, I feel that God is reminding me that our lives are not lived according to our timing but to His. There is a time and season for everything and right now, I just wanna live out my purpose and be a comfort to people around me who have touched me deeply.

Cambodia... here I come!

2007-05-06T19:23:00.000+08:00

I'll be off to Cambodia for a 5D/4N trip from 15 June to 19 June...

I'm very excited about going cos the historian in me loves the looking and spending time with ruins... Yup... I'm a self-confess geek whose once upon a time ambition was to be an archaelogist

Here's my itinerary for the trip:

Day 1 - Arty Farty @ Siem Reap!

I'm off to visit the "Les Artisans d'Angkor - Chantiers Ecoles" to look at Cambodian artistry & Silk Farm to look at the silk creation process. At night is off to the local market and apsara dance show!

Day 2 - Angkor Wat!

This is the day my cultural self will soak in the presence of Angkor Wat and Angkor Thom.

Day 3 - Phnom Penh!

Another cultural day where I'll be off to the Independent Monument, National Museum, Royal Palace, Silver Pagoda and the Wat Phnom Temple.

Day 4 - Gory Affair!

I'll be visiting the Tuol Sleng Museum and the Killing Fields of Choeung Ek (a remembrance of the Pol Pot regime. Then I'll be off to some fun visiting the Russian Market and Central Market. I'll also be visiting the Naga World Casino and cruise along the Phnom Penh riverfront in the sunset.

Day 5 - Home sweet home!

I'll be taking an early flight back to my loved ones back home...

Can't wait for the trip to materialise... except I have to get through my exam period first.... What a bummer... lolz

At least something sweet awaits me this June hols... amidst the book checking, the resource packing blah blah...

Which baby are you?

2007-05-04T22:07:00.000+08:00

January

Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth. Stubborn.

February

Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexiest out of everyone. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest And loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

Mar

Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.

April

Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confidant. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and traveling. Systematic. Hot but has brains.

May

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High-spirited.

June

You've got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have an a very attractive partner. a wicked hottie. It is also more than likely that you have a massive record collection. You have a great choice in films, and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck, you've got the looks for it!!!

July

Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. spazzy at times. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Love s to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

August

Outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. No self-control. Kind hearted. Self-confident. Loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. Easy to get along with and talk to. Has an "every thing's peachy" attitude. Likes talking and singing. Loves music. Daydreamer. Easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. Loves to be loved. Hates studying. in need of "that someone". Longs for freedom. Rebellious when withheld or restricted. Lives by "no pain no gain" caring. Always a suspect. Playful. Mysterious. "charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious. Independent. Strong willed. A fighter.

September

Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.

October

Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all.

*November*
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the greatest men are born in this month. If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because their one of a kind.

December

This straight-up means you are the most good-looking person possible... Better than all of these other months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. One guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves music. Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive.

Colorgenics Test

2007-05-01T17:27:00.000+08:00

Came across this colorgenics test from a friend's blog. Seeing it's 90% accurate for her, I decided to try it out at this link:

http://www.paulgoldin.com/colorgenics.htm

Here are my results... pretty accurate, I must say...

You work hard, seeking success. You are self-sufficient and in spite of all the trials and tribulations that have beset you in the past you carry on regardless. You are one to be admired because you pursue your objectives single-mindedly and with initiative. You know that you can 'do it' and what is more, you will - without necessarily being dependent upon the goodwill of others.

You 'need to be needed'. As an idealist you are intolerant of anything short of special consideration from those close to you. If you do not get what you seek you are apt to become reclusive and you will close the doors on all those within your sphere of influence.

You wear your heart on your sleeve and since you are an emotional person you are apt to give your all - heart and soul - to all those that show you a little affection; but take care - it would appear that you have been extremely hurt in the past and you keep leaving yourself wide open for punishment.

For some time now your hopes and expectations have been denied and because of this you are becoming withdrawn and introverted. Continual disappointment has manifested itself in you becoming both suspicious and restrained you have become withdrawn from others and have receded more and more into yourself. You seem to have lost your innate enthusiasm and imaginative nature, for fear that you may be carried away by it only to find that you are wasting your time. You loath to trust people, as in the past your trust has been misplaced. You seem to be keeping yourself cautiously aloof from others. At this moment in time your attitude is to trust nobody - until they can prove themselves to you.

You are presently worried about your future and you feel that whatever you do will go wrong. At this time you are your own worst enemy. All the disappointment that you have experienced, coupled with the fear that there is no point in formulating fresh goals, have led to anxiety. You would like recognition and a position of trust but you are concerned that these hopes and dreams may not be realised. You are very argumentative and insistent that you are right - maybe you are - but you are pushing too hard. Take it easy, let go, and smile. Smiling and agreeing with people works wonders - try it and see.

Try it out and see if it works for you.

2007-04-30T18:48:00.000+08:00

Woman stopped by unannounced at her son's house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm waiting for Justin to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.

"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.

"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.

"Love dress? But you're naked!"

"Justin loves me to wear this dress," she explained. "Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours."

The mother-in-law left.

When she got home she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and laid on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.

Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually.

"Needs ironing," he said, "What's for dinner?"

Is this what many years of marriage does to one? lolz....

for the feminists...

2007-04-29T22:51:00.000+08:00

For all those men who say, "Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free?"

Here's an update for you: Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY?

Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

Men are like....

1. Laxatives ... They irritate the crap out of you.

2. Bananas ... The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. The Weather ... Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Blenders ... You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6. Commercials ... You can't believe a word they say.

7. Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

8. Government Bonds ... They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Mascara ... They usually run at the first sign of emotions.

10. Popcorn ... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Snowstorms ... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12. Lava Lamps ... Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13. Parking Spots ... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

This really makes great laugh... ;)

2007-04-28T11:36:00.000+08:00

The work load hasn't been reduced... I'm still stressed but no longer frustrated. By the grace of God, I have managed to cut it down already. He is always faithful especially when he has multiplied my time...

I was becoming quite stressed about my piling work. God bless a colleague who comes back every Saturday to work. In this way, I am able to come back every Saturday to clear up my marking and lesson planning that I barely have time for between Mon to Fri.

God also bless my lil bro who came to pick me up. As such, I could lug some books over last weekend to clear up my marking.

I am really grateful to the people around me who has shown me a lot of love and concern. While reflecting during my quiet time on Tuesday night and talking to a friend on Wednesday, I am marvelled at how God works in us.

He gives each of us a calling to fulfill, regardless of our capability. As long as we have availed ourselves to his calling, he will always fill us with the capability to perform tasks that he has placed for us.

The calling he has placed for me has been tough. At times, I come close to giving up and throwing in the towel. However, he has never let me fall. Each time I come close to giving, he reminds me of my purpose through quiet time and angels he sends around me. He has also placed understanding bosses around me who have never given me a hard time. Their encouragement has spurred me on to greater heights in the things I have done.

Maybe it might seem strange as to why I have been praising him in my blog lately. That is because these few months has been really tough for me. If by my own strength, I would have failed. I am only able to succeed because of his strength and guidance.

It is true that God draws closest to us when we are at our weakest. This is his way of reminding us to constantly seek him first...

2007-04-20T21:38:00.000+08:00

I'm highly stressed and darned tired... This has gotta be the most tiring week of my life...

This has been a week of rushing my psychology assignment (last one! Thank God!) and vetting of papers. All this amidst my ton of marking and courses I have to atttend. Plus had to be down with food poisoning on Tuesday... Make me feel almost tired and miserable!

Fortunately, I'm too much of an optismist to get depressed for long. Be it your happy or miserable, life still goes on AND the things that you have to do are STILL waiting for you to do it. Might as well do it happily... That's my mantra in life. It has indeed served me well through all my down periods... :)

More updates... God has spoken so I have decided to go to the new school... I think my kids will be super happy. From their recent journals, they were telling me how much they like me and how much they will miss me... so sweet rite? At moments like this, I'm glad I'm a teacher.

Envy me for this... BUT don't envy the lesson plans, worksheets and exam papers I have to set, the exam papers I have to vet (6 levels, mind you!), the reflections I have to do, the courses and meeting I have to attend, the admin matters I have to handle, the tons of marking I have to do, the moments my kids and I drive each other crazy, the nights I have to burn midnight oil for my assignments and exam preparation...

Makes me really wonder how I actually managed to stay so optismistic and not go mad... All I can say is the grace of God.

Job Description of Parents

2007-04-15T17:57:00.000+08:00

POSITION :

Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :

- Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment.
- Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
- Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :

The rest of your life.

- Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
- Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
- Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
- Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
- Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
- Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
- Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
- Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
- Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
- Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
- Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

None! Get this! You pay them!

- Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
- A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
- When you die, you give them whatever is left.

The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

Haha... how funny but its so true...

Little Davie jokes

2007-04-11T21:37:00.000+08:00

Little Davie attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump, and chest.

After a few minutes, Davie asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?"

His father replied,"Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy."

Davie, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."

********************************************

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Davie stood up.

The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Davie ?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

*********************************************

Little Davie watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.

"Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked.

"To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.

"What's the matter?" asked Little Davie.

"Giving up?"

**********************************************

The math teacher saw that little Davie wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, " Davie! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"

Little Davie quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"

**********************************************

Little Davies's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals.

One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.

"Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him."

Little Davie asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

dilemma... dilemma

2007-04-10T21:50:00.000+08:00

Recently, my bosses have been asking me if I will be going to the new school... That's like a question that is so heavily steeped in dilemma...

If I go, the travelling distance will be as far as I have been travelling for the last four years and frankly, there are days where the distance really gets to you. Especially when you are fatigue and taking a cab home during the peak hour can cost you as much as $13 (no kidding... I was stuck paying $6 at the Holland Road jam! Bummer...)

However, if I don't go, my conscience will get to me... there are just a lot of people I can't let go...

(a) students - my adorable T and A who struggle with reading, my Z who seems to have endless family problems getting in the way of his studies, K who has started to put in effort albeit inconsistent and even the irritating A (YES! I still haven't given up on you no matter how many times I have to send you out!)

(b) colleagues - the friendships built over the last 4 years

How? How? How?

Only solution...

Deep inside, I hear God calling but I'm just a stubborn ole thing... so I asked God for 3 signs... 2 have since materialised (in neon blinking lights, I must add)...

Now I'm looking for the last...

When it appears, I know God has truly called and I will do according to his will...

In the meantime, pray...