4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking care of the house and the kid. 'cos that is the exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and emotional needs of my child, and failed to be the dad and mum for my child.
There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work. Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there was still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child.
With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all I heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the 'problem'... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bedsheet and blanket!
Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short explanation:
"Dad, I was hungry and there wasn't anymore leftover rice. But you were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But I remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around, hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till you return. But I forgot to remind you 'cos I was playing with my toys... I am sorry Dad..."
At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks... but I didn't want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom and cried with the shower head on to mask my cries. After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy.
A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up.
However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain. But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'. But after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite is for every student's mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he has no mummy.....
Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to himself and stayed in his room to practise his writing, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was still around. 'cos he makes me proud too!
Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It's winter, and its Christmas time. Everywhere the christmas spirit is in every passer-by...Christmas carols and frantic shoppers....but alas, my son got into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the day's work, the post office called. Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, ' I'm sorry, Dad' and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the year.
His answer, amidst his sobbing, was : The letters were for Mummy.
My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask him: " But why did u post so many letters, at one time?" My son's reply was: " I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and I sent it all at once..."
After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say....
I told my son, " Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach mummy. My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but couldnt help opening the letter before they turn to ash.
And one of the letters broke my heart....
Dear Mummy,
I miss you so much! Today, there was a 'Talent Show' in school, and the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldn’t help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason. Mummy, everyday I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room. I think we both miss you very very much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mummy, I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your dreams. But mummy, why haven’t you appear?
After reading the letter, I cant stop sobbing. 'cos I can never replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife....
For the females with children:
Don't do so much overtime. If you cannot finish the work, it must be some kind of problems within the company, and it is not your sole problem. Feedback to your boss. Endless overtime may not necessary be the answer to the problem. Take care of your health so that you can treasure and take care of your little precious.
For the married men:
Drink less, smoke less, cos nothing can replace your good health, not even business nor clients. Try thinking this way, are you able to work till your clients are totally dependent on you? or your boss is totally dependent on you? In this society, no one is indispensable. Take care of your health, so that you can take care of your little precious and your loved ones.
For those singles out there:
Beauty lies in loving yourself first. With confidence and loving yourself, you will see the beauty in other things around you. You will be able to work better and happier. Don't let your health be affected by your work or your boss, so nothing matters more than your well being.
Wednesday, October 28
Monday, October 19
kids say the darnest things!
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing.
She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.
She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some ofyour hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ]There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing.
She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.
She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some ofyour hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ]There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Sunday, October 18
world of stupidity...
Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?
Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a "diet" soda?
Why do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?
Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage?
Why do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight?
Why do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER ...
Why the sun lightens our hair ... but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouths closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a "diet" soda?
Why do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?
Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage?
Why do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight?
Why do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER ...
Why the sun lightens our hair ... but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouths closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Saturday, October 10
Was reading 8 Days when I came across an interview with Zooey Deschanel, star of (500) Days of Summer. In the interview, she said this:
Everyone has the heartbreak that shapes them in a way that they could never go back to the innocence that they had before. It's beautiful and poignant and bittersweet to explore. It is an universally appealing theme because if you haven't been through this, you probably will at some point. The fear of losing love is the dark side. But the wonderful side is the feeling that you get when you fall in love.
That's so true and speaks to my heart....
Everyone has the heartbreak that shapes them in a way that they could never go back to the innocence that they had before. It's beautiful and poignant and bittersweet to explore. It is an universally appealing theme because if you haven't been through this, you probably will at some point. The fear of losing love is the dark side. But the wonderful side is the feeling that you get when you fall in love.
That's so true and speaks to my heart....
Best fried chicken I've tasted.... Woori Nara Restaurant!
Just came home from a girls' nite out with April and Shi Ling. April had a craving for Korean food so I went to dig out an article I cut out some time back. The review for fried chicken at Woori Nara Restaurant at Upper Bukit Timah was good so we decided to check the place out.
When we got there, we ordered the half-boneless chicken in 2 flavours - Volcano Yum Yum and Soy Garlic. They were recommended in the article. We also ordered Ddeokbokki (Chewy Rice Cakes in Spicy Sauce), Gimbap (Seaweed Rice Rolls) and Oden Tang (fishcake soup). We were thinking that this should be manageable between 3 of us. When the food came, we were like OOOMMMGGG! The servings were generous and we ate till we were stuffed! Looks like I have found a new joint to satisfy my Korean food craving.
After that, we went down to Udders for ice-cream. They had an impressive range of alcoholic ice-cream. They had tira-miss-u, lychee martini, bailey's & bourbon, rum and raisin etc... simply too many for me to choose from. If I had a free rein, I'll prob end up sampling every single flavour.... alas, I had to settle on tira-miss-u and bailey's & bourbon....
It was wonderful catching up with the gals. It's strange that you see each other daily but yet you have no time to catch up. Must to this more often... with more good food of cos!
When we got there, we ordered the half-boneless chicken in 2 flavours - Volcano Yum Yum and Soy Garlic. They were recommended in the article. We also ordered Ddeokbokki (Chewy Rice Cakes in Spicy Sauce), Gimbap (Seaweed Rice Rolls) and Oden Tang (fishcake soup). We were thinking that this should be manageable between 3 of us. When the food came, we were like OOOMMMGGG! The servings were generous and we ate till we were stuffed! Looks like I have found a new joint to satisfy my Korean food craving.
After that, we went down to Udders for ice-cream. They had an impressive range of alcoholic ice-cream. They had tira-miss-u, lychee martini, bailey's & bourbon, rum and raisin etc... simply too many for me to choose from. If I had a free rein, I'll prob end up sampling every single flavour.... alas, I had to settle on tira-miss-u and bailey's & bourbon....
It was wonderful catching up with the gals. It's strange that you see each other daily but yet you have no time to catch up. Must to this more often... with more good food of cos!
Wednesday, August 26
Life thus far...
It's been almost 3 months since I've last blogged... these last 3 months have been pretty busy...
My bro got married on 1 August so we spent weekends to help to deliver invites as well as help him settle in his new rented flat. The wedding was simple yet very lovely... Raffles Town Club is a good place to do if you would like a hotel-type wedding at restaurant prices! The decor was beautiful plus my Aunt Iris helped to add lovely finishing touches to it.
It's amazing how my bro and my sis-in-law managed to pull the whole thing off by themselves. It was many months of hard work and preparation as well as sleepless nights. But I believe such is necessary to help you grow as a couple. I can see how in love they are and how this whole preparation has brought them closer together.
I've also been busy with work. Term 3 is always the craziest term but amidst all the mayham and madness, I found time to love myelf and make time for myself, doing the things I love. I've been able to spend time with different groups, catching up with them as well as doing things together like dinners, going for short trips and watching movies.
I've also started my Korean Language classes. It's really fun but I have to admit it was tough. It's never easy learning a new language but it has put language teaching in a new perspective for me. It took 3 lessons to learn the alphabet so I can technically read korean now... just that it takes me a long time. I'm still not good with the complicated vowels and final consonant.
I also had to help my mom with caring for my grandma. Looking at her, I really believe that as people get older, they regress into their second childhood. Grandma's behaving like a kid these days, prone to sometimes unreasonable tantrums, frustrating everyone. Praying for patience...
My bro got married on 1 August so we spent weekends to help to deliver invites as well as help him settle in his new rented flat. The wedding was simple yet very lovely... Raffles Town Club is a good place to do if you would like a hotel-type wedding at restaurant prices! The decor was beautiful plus my Aunt Iris helped to add lovely finishing touches to it.
It's amazing how my bro and my sis-in-law managed to pull the whole thing off by themselves. It was many months of hard work and preparation as well as sleepless nights. But I believe such is necessary to help you grow as a couple. I can see how in love they are and how this whole preparation has brought them closer together.
I've also been busy with work. Term 3 is always the craziest term but amidst all the mayham and madness, I found time to love myelf and make time for myself, doing the things I love. I've been able to spend time with different groups, catching up with them as well as doing things together like dinners, going for short trips and watching movies.
I've also started my Korean Language classes. It's really fun but I have to admit it was tough. It's never easy learning a new language but it has put language teaching in a new perspective for me. It took 3 lessons to learn the alphabet so I can technically read korean now... just that it takes me a long time. I'm still not good with the complicated vowels and final consonant.
I also had to help my mom with caring for my grandma. Looking at her, I really believe that as people get older, they regress into their second childhood. Grandma's behaving like a kid these days, prone to sometimes unreasonable tantrums, frustrating everyone. Praying for patience...
Thursday, June 11
My Love Tribute to Godma
How do you ever begin to thank some one for 11 years of wonderful memories? I never thought about it until I felt I wanted to share a special memory of Godma at the wake. The truth is, there are so many memories that I can't put a finger as to where to begin...
After the cremation was over and we returned to Fernvale (Godma's place), Aunt Carol was sharing with us how Godma used to care for so many people whom she felt strongly about that Aunt Carol used to call them Godma's strays.
And yes, I was one of the many strays. And I was proud to have been her stray... With her, there was always life's lessons to be taught. Thanks to her, I am the person I've become today. And because of the seeds she has sown in my life, I know I can live strong and she can continue to be proud of me when she looks down at me from above.
When I first knew her, she was just my Literature teacher whom I was very close to. I was a quite dim and always had to stay back to ask questions. She was often very patient with me and would use a lot of analogies to help me to understand (yes, that was how stupid I was!). Her patience made me admire her very much as a teacher and fuelled my passion for Literature. Although I enjoyed reading and watching movies, I usually do not think very deeply about them. She was the one who taught me how to look for similarities, parallels and symbols in the books and movies. Thanks to her, I never saw Matrix the same way again.
When I joined the Drama Club and had to work closely with her as she was the teacher advisor, she taught me the importance of standards and not to compromise and settle for second best. She always looked into the big and little details. To her, having the sofa placed right was never enough. There had to be a lovely throw over the sofa (which she brought from home) to cover how ugly the sofa looked. If it was the Valentine's Day production, she would bring rose-scented candles and perfumes to make the room smell nice. For Christmas production, it would be Christmas candles and potpourri. No matter how tiring setting up the set for our productions were, she would be working side by side with us. And lo and behold, by the time we were done, we would usually always wow people away with our set.
When putting up productions, she was teacher, actress, director, choreographer... all rolled into one. When we put up my last (as well as her last) dance drama, we practiced for 7 months to get it right and she would contort my body into strange movements so she could see what the steps she choreographed would look like. She would never make us do anything which she hasn't attempted in her mind's eye and by herself.
After months of Wed evening rehearsals (3 hours) and Sat rehearsals (8 hours), I was the most fit ever. I was 41 kg and acquired a 23" waist (which was never to be seen again) and for the first time in my life, I passed physical fitness test!
During the duration of that 7 months of preparation for production, she dragged us around shopping for costumes. Thanks to her, I now know where to buy costumes that would be value for money and how to embellish costumes using beads and feathers to achieve the effect I want. Because of her, I learnt the importance of value for money and thanks to her, I have learnt how to walk 10 shops to find the exact dress I want and at the price I want. She taught me the importance of thrift.
At a time when I lacked guidance, she took on a more pivotal role in my life and would often give me a gentle advice to nudge me in the right direction. Every time I felt lost and was unsure about what I should do, she was always a phone call away or I would hop down to her place and and long sessions chatting with her. She was a smart woman. She never told me what I should you. She knew stubborn lil me wouldn't have listen if she took that approach. Instead, she always asked me what I wanted and after I shared with her, she would list me the pros and cons of my decisions. Over the years, thanks to her, I learnt how to look further into my decision making. Because of that, I've learnt how to make wiser decisions. In the last 5 years, when I tell her about how things are going in my life and why I made the decisions I did, she always nodded, affirming that I've grown up and have become wiser. Seriously, I would never have been able to do that without her influence in my life.
She was also more innovative and forward than anyone of us. Before educators talked about using new media in teaching, she was already doing that. Back in 1998, she always did film and book comparisons and got us to think about how Shakespeare intended the play to be and how the film version differed and why. She was even able to hunt for Hindi movies that had a storyline that parallelled Hamlet and got us thinking about how cultural differences affected the slant of the play. In later years, she went on to using song lyrics to teach comparison poetries and would show MTVs from YouTube to help students understand the lyrics better. When she was away from school often due to her medical treatments, she set up a blog so that she would be able to post notes from home. New challenges have never frazzled her, she simply just embraced them...
Personally, she taught me strength, faith and courage. When we were looking at one of the photos taken in Melbourne by Richard of her at prayer, Aunt Carol commented how much faith and gratitude Godma showed when she prayed. Indeed, she was very grateful to God for each day she had. In the posts on her blog and her emails to Aruna (who printed them out and showed us at the wake), she counted each day she had with us as a blessing. Although cancer was a hard lover to her, she never blamed God for things that happened to her. She used her life as a personal story to constantly encourage others around her. When a girl in my college cohort came down with ovarian cancer and had to withdraw from school, Godma shut herself in the music room for over an hour with this girl so she could comfort and encourage her. When Daniel's friend discovered he suffered from leukemia, Godma met up with him and encouraged him which gave him strength to continue treatments.
To make us all feel better, she always tried to make light of situations. When she was warded in hospital to go for her spine surgery, she was ogling at the cute doctor who was telling her about the complications of the surgery which included paralysis. After the doctor left, she asked me if I noticed the name of the doctor so she could put a name to the cute face. Aunt Carol thought we were both quite stupid that we only noticed how cute the doctor was and not the seriousness of his explanations. When she went for her first radiosurgery, she would always tell us that it was a privilege to be selected as the first patient to use the machine on the spine cos the machine is usually used for neurosurgery.
Despite the difficulties, pain and sufferings that she went through, it had never stopped her from living life fully. She always did the things she wanted to do which also included taking her Master's in Literature when she was in her forties. Although she had to work harder than other students as she had not done academic writing for so many years as well as she had to defer semesters as she had to go for medical treatments, she struggled through and came out triumphant. She was very proud when she finished her course and could go up to the stage with her cane to personally collect her certificate.
Not only did she live life fully, she also encouraged others to. She would often nag at me to quickly finish my degree. When I finished my degree, she nagged at me to start my Master's. She would also often nag at me to date and not sit around her house so much. She tried fixing me up with a good Christian man like her pastor's son, new colleagues that join the school etc. Perhaps she felt that in singlehood, she missed out on motherhood. This probably explained why she 'mothered' so many of her pupils and paid special attention to the 'strays' (like me!). She probably did not want me to miss out on motherhood too.
I am grateful that she gave me Melbourne to remember. Those days were so much fun as we shared a room together. There was much fun and laughter during the trip and the best holiday photographs I have taken was in Melbourne.
I'm also glad we had a lovely celebration on Jeremy's 19th birthday together. I had a chef to come to the house to cook a lovely meal for us and although Godma's appetite wasn't great during that time, she loved the excitement of it. That was also our last celebration with her...
This weekend is the first weekend not spent with her and it just seems so strange... weekends are just not going to be the same again. In fact, Fernvale felt strange without Godma being there. When I slept over on Sunday night to ensure that the maids would be alright and not be overcome with grief, I just couldn't sleep. I had to hug Crinkles (her beloved bear) and hold her cross to get some peace. Christmas and New Year is also not going to be the same. I'm never going to be able to play with sparklers and poppers and not remember her. I'm also sad knowing that she would never get a chance to see me at my wedding (if there is ever going to be one) but I do know that if there was going to be one, she would have been the happiest to see her final wish fulfilled.
Godma has left a part of herself in the lives that she touched, including mine, and because of that, I will always remember her with fondest memories. The first year might be the hardest and yes, I will grieve but when the grieving is over, I will be strong and live life fully, with fond memories in my heart for she has given me many beautiful memories over the last 11 years.
Thank you and I will miss you always...
After the cremation was over and we returned to Fernvale (Godma's place), Aunt Carol was sharing with us how Godma used to care for so many people whom she felt strongly about that Aunt Carol used to call them Godma's strays.
And yes, I was one of the many strays. And I was proud to have been her stray... With her, there was always life's lessons to be taught. Thanks to her, I am the person I've become today. And because of the seeds she has sown in my life, I know I can live strong and she can continue to be proud of me when she looks down at me from above.
When I first knew her, she was just my Literature teacher whom I was very close to. I was a quite dim and always had to stay back to ask questions. She was often very patient with me and would use a lot of analogies to help me to understand (yes, that was how stupid I was!). Her patience made me admire her very much as a teacher and fuelled my passion for Literature. Although I enjoyed reading and watching movies, I usually do not think very deeply about them. She was the one who taught me how to look for similarities, parallels and symbols in the books and movies. Thanks to her, I never saw Matrix the same way again.
When I joined the Drama Club and had to work closely with her as she was the teacher advisor, she taught me the importance of standards and not to compromise and settle for second best. She always looked into the big and little details. To her, having the sofa placed right was never enough. There had to be a lovely throw over the sofa (which she brought from home) to cover how ugly the sofa looked. If it was the Valentine's Day production, she would bring rose-scented candles and perfumes to make the room smell nice. For Christmas production, it would be Christmas candles and potpourri. No matter how tiring setting up the set for our productions were, she would be working side by side with us. And lo and behold, by the time we were done, we would usually always wow people away with our set.
When putting up productions, she was teacher, actress, director, choreographer... all rolled into one. When we put up my last (as well as her last) dance drama, we practiced for 7 months to get it right and she would contort my body into strange movements so she could see what the steps she choreographed would look like. She would never make us do anything which she hasn't attempted in her mind's eye and by herself.
After months of Wed evening rehearsals (3 hours) and Sat rehearsals (8 hours), I was the most fit ever. I was 41 kg and acquired a 23" waist (which was never to be seen again) and for the first time in my life, I passed physical fitness test!
During the duration of that 7 months of preparation for production, she dragged us around shopping for costumes. Thanks to her, I now know where to buy costumes that would be value for money and how to embellish costumes using beads and feathers to achieve the effect I want. Because of her, I learnt the importance of value for money and thanks to her, I have learnt how to walk 10 shops to find the exact dress I want and at the price I want. She taught me the importance of thrift.
At a time when I lacked guidance, she took on a more pivotal role in my life and would often give me a gentle advice to nudge me in the right direction. Every time I felt lost and was unsure about what I should do, she was always a phone call away or I would hop down to her place and and long sessions chatting with her. She was a smart woman. She never told me what I should you. She knew stubborn lil me wouldn't have listen if she took that approach. Instead, she always asked me what I wanted and after I shared with her, she would list me the pros and cons of my decisions. Over the years, thanks to her, I learnt how to look further into my decision making. Because of that, I've learnt how to make wiser decisions. In the last 5 years, when I tell her about how things are going in my life and why I made the decisions I did, she always nodded, affirming that I've grown up and have become wiser. Seriously, I would never have been able to do that without her influence in my life.
She was also more innovative and forward than anyone of us. Before educators talked about using new media in teaching, she was already doing that. Back in 1998, she always did film and book comparisons and got us to think about how Shakespeare intended the play to be and how the film version differed and why. She was even able to hunt for Hindi movies that had a storyline that parallelled Hamlet and got us thinking about how cultural differences affected the slant of the play. In later years, she went on to using song lyrics to teach comparison poetries and would show MTVs from YouTube to help students understand the lyrics better. When she was away from school often due to her medical treatments, she set up a blog so that she would be able to post notes from home. New challenges have never frazzled her, she simply just embraced them...
Personally, she taught me strength, faith and courage. When we were looking at one of the photos taken in Melbourne by Richard of her at prayer, Aunt Carol commented how much faith and gratitude Godma showed when she prayed. Indeed, she was very grateful to God for each day she had. In the posts on her blog and her emails to Aruna (who printed them out and showed us at the wake), she counted each day she had with us as a blessing. Although cancer was a hard lover to her, she never blamed God for things that happened to her. She used her life as a personal story to constantly encourage others around her. When a girl in my college cohort came down with ovarian cancer and had to withdraw from school, Godma shut herself in the music room for over an hour with this girl so she could comfort and encourage her. When Daniel's friend discovered he suffered from leukemia, Godma met up with him and encouraged him which gave him strength to continue treatments.
To make us all feel better, she always tried to make light of situations. When she was warded in hospital to go for her spine surgery, she was ogling at the cute doctor who was telling her about the complications of the surgery which included paralysis. After the doctor left, she asked me if I noticed the name of the doctor so she could put a name to the cute face. Aunt Carol thought we were both quite stupid that we only noticed how cute the doctor was and not the seriousness of his explanations. When she went for her first radiosurgery, she would always tell us that it was a privilege to be selected as the first patient to use the machine on the spine cos the machine is usually used for neurosurgery.
Despite the difficulties, pain and sufferings that she went through, it had never stopped her from living life fully. She always did the things she wanted to do which also included taking her Master's in Literature when she was in her forties. Although she had to work harder than other students as she had not done academic writing for so many years as well as she had to defer semesters as she had to go for medical treatments, she struggled through and came out triumphant. She was very proud when she finished her course and could go up to the stage with her cane to personally collect her certificate.
Not only did she live life fully, she also encouraged others to. She would often nag at me to quickly finish my degree. When I finished my degree, she nagged at me to start my Master's. She would also often nag at me to date and not sit around her house so much. She tried fixing me up with a good Christian man like her pastor's son, new colleagues that join the school etc. Perhaps she felt that in singlehood, she missed out on motherhood. This probably explained why she 'mothered' so many of her pupils and paid special attention to the 'strays' (like me!). She probably did not want me to miss out on motherhood too.
I am grateful that she gave me Melbourne to remember. Those days were so much fun as we shared a room together. There was much fun and laughter during the trip and the best holiday photographs I have taken was in Melbourne.
I'm also glad we had a lovely celebration on Jeremy's 19th birthday together. I had a chef to come to the house to cook a lovely meal for us and although Godma's appetite wasn't great during that time, she loved the excitement of it. That was also our last celebration with her...
This weekend is the first weekend not spent with her and it just seems so strange... weekends are just not going to be the same again. In fact, Fernvale felt strange without Godma being there. When I slept over on Sunday night to ensure that the maids would be alright and not be overcome with grief, I just couldn't sleep. I had to hug Crinkles (her beloved bear) and hold her cross to get some peace. Christmas and New Year is also not going to be the same. I'm never going to be able to play with sparklers and poppers and not remember her. I'm also sad knowing that she would never get a chance to see me at my wedding (if there is ever going to be one) but I do know that if there was going to be one, she would have been the happiest to see her final wish fulfilled.
Godma has left a part of herself in the lives that she touched, including mine, and because of that, I will always remember her with fondest memories. The first year might be the hardest and yes, I will grieve but when the grieving is over, I will be strong and live life fully, with fond memories in my heart for she has given me many beautiful memories over the last 11 years.
Thank you and I will miss you always...
Monday, June 8
In loving memory... beloved Godma, Rosalind Gurupatham Jeyamoney
My beloved Godma went home with our Heavenly Father and entered Eternal Glory at 6.25 pm on Sunday, 7th June 2009.She has served God her whole life as a dutiful daughter, wonderful sister, beloved mother and inspirational teacher. She has lived up to her name, Rosalind, Giver of Love and it is my greatest honour to have known her as Rosy, the daughter, sister and mother & Rosalind, the teacher.
She left peacefully and beautifully. She fought the good fight till the very end and is now dancing in heaven with our Heavenly Father.
Caring for her brought me the greatest joy. I am blessed that she gave me the privilege to have cared for her and held her hand until the very end. She left me no rooms for regrets and for that I am blessed. Thank you...
There will be nightly services on Monday, 8th June and Tuesday, 9th June at the Singapore Casket, Level 5, Regency Room @ 8 pm. We will have a 'Celebration of her Life' memorial on Wednesday, 10th June at St Andrew's Cathedral @ 10.30 am.
There will be no mourning colours because Rosy loved parties most.
For those who are coming, bring a single stalk of red rose, in memory of the most beautiful Rose of them all.
Friday, April 10
Updates on Godma...
She has been out of the hospital for 2 weeks and is resting at home now. Although she was supposed to go back to school, she hasn't been looking too good so Aunt Carol extended her medical leave for these 2 weeks.
Honestly, she hasn't been doing too well since she left the hospital. She's suffering and it's plain to see. Her hospice nurse would like her to be put in full-time hospice care. She feels that current home care is insufficient to see to her needs. This is true... Lilik (God bless her heart!) has been doing her upmost best to care for Nana and Godma (Godma has jokingly called her house 'The Fernvale Nursing Home'). She tends to the bed sores, wounds etc the way she was taught by Aunt Carol or the hospice nurse when she goes on home visits. However, Lilik is not a trained professional. There is only so much she can do. While the hospice nurse wants Godma in full-time care, she doesn't realise that it's Godma who doesn't want it. Aunt Carol has been told to persuade her but we know what she will flare up.
Godma is a force of nature... She has a will-power that never cease to amaze me. I have never met someone with a stronger will to live than her and it is this will that does not allow her to give up. She will often try to mask whatever suffering she goes through to assure us she's fine. Like when I told her she looked a lil peaked today from sleep deprivation, she was super alert the whole afternoon and refused to lie down for a nap. She does all kinds of things to reassure us she's ok. However, we do sense her insecurities from her subtle actions. She has been down with a slight diarrhoea these couple of days but she refuses to take medication. She also hasn't been sleeping well but she refused to take sleeping pills for fear that she would not wake up.
It has been difficult for me to see what she's going through and how her health has been deteriorating each week I see her. When I go over each week, I can see how frail she's becoming. She doesn't talk much these days (gradual losing of voice) and when she does, it is also weak and frail compared to the past. Movement has also become slow for her has she doesn't have much strength in her hands and fingers. Sometimes, she will have difficulties opening her pill box to get her meds out. When I'm there, I don't do much except watch telly with her and help her out whenever she needs help. But I know she enjoys having someone accompany her, even if it's just for a while.
Sometimes when I look at her, I wonder if she is hanging on, because she loves and appreciate life too much to go or she hangs in there for us, because she knows we are not ready to say goodbye to her. Regardless, life is transient and while I do not know how long more Godma can spend with us, I would like to spend as much time as I can so there will be no regrets when the day comes.
Like Lulu's 'To Sir, With Love' goes,
But how do you thank someone, who has taken you from crayons to perfume?
It isn't easy, but I'll try
A friend who taught me right from wrong
And weak from strong, That's a lot to learn
What, what can I give you in return?
If you wanted the moon, I would try to make a start
But I, would rather you let me give my heart
To Sir, with Love
Honestly, she hasn't been doing too well since she left the hospital. She's suffering and it's plain to see. Her hospice nurse would like her to be put in full-time hospice care. She feels that current home care is insufficient to see to her needs. This is true... Lilik (God bless her heart!) has been doing her upmost best to care for Nana and Godma (Godma has jokingly called her house 'The Fernvale Nursing Home'). She tends to the bed sores, wounds etc the way she was taught by Aunt Carol or the hospice nurse when she goes on home visits. However, Lilik is not a trained professional. There is only so much she can do. While the hospice nurse wants Godma in full-time care, she doesn't realise that it's Godma who doesn't want it. Aunt Carol has been told to persuade her but we know what she will flare up.
Godma is a force of nature... She has a will-power that never cease to amaze me. I have never met someone with a stronger will to live than her and it is this will that does not allow her to give up. She will often try to mask whatever suffering she goes through to assure us she's fine. Like when I told her she looked a lil peaked today from sleep deprivation, she was super alert the whole afternoon and refused to lie down for a nap. She does all kinds of things to reassure us she's ok. However, we do sense her insecurities from her subtle actions. She has been down with a slight diarrhoea these couple of days but she refuses to take medication. She also hasn't been sleeping well but she refused to take sleeping pills for fear that she would not wake up.
It has been difficult for me to see what she's going through and how her health has been deteriorating each week I see her. When I go over each week, I can see how frail she's becoming. She doesn't talk much these days (gradual losing of voice) and when she does, it is also weak and frail compared to the past. Movement has also become slow for her has she doesn't have much strength in her hands and fingers. Sometimes, she will have difficulties opening her pill box to get her meds out. When I'm there, I don't do much except watch telly with her and help her out whenever she needs help. But I know she enjoys having someone accompany her, even if it's just for a while.
Sometimes when I look at her, I wonder if she is hanging on, because she loves and appreciate life too much to go or she hangs in there for us, because she knows we are not ready to say goodbye to her. Regardless, life is transient and while I do not know how long more Godma can spend with us, I would like to spend as much time as I can so there will be no regrets when the day comes.
Like Lulu's 'To Sir, With Love' goes,
But how do you thank someone, who has taken you from crayons to perfume?
It isn't easy, but I'll try
A friend who taught me right from wrong
And weak from strong, That's a lot to learn
What, what can I give you in return?
If you wanted the moon, I would try to make a start
But I, would rather you let me give my heart
To Sir, with Love
Give Thanks!
In this past month, God has been good and faithful in many areas of my life.
In my career...
Performance bonus was out. I was worried that I wouldn't do well as I got to a bit of a rocky start last year and personally, I knew I wasn't functioning at my best. I felt like I wasn't valued in what I do. However, the quantum given for my performance bonus has assured me that I was on the right track. In fact, I was more than grateful for this as it is the highest I have ever gotten in 6 years. Praise God... With the money, I was able to clear my loans more quickly.
I've also been promoted. This equates to having extra $$$ which came in at the right time. I have given up doing tuition to spend more time with loved ones and was worried that I would be financially tight with a car to maintain. Having the extra dole means I don't have to keep counting pennies... lolz
Just when I feel like I wasn't heading anywhere in my career, I was called in to my VP's office yesterday. She asked if me I was ready to go for the Level Head interview. If I clear the interview, I would be officially appointed and be given an allowance for the work that I have been doing. Frankly, although I have been doing the work so I might as well be paid for it, I am thankful that this came when I feel like I'm in a transition. When I attended a meeting, I did indicate my interest in joining HQ so I was contacted by HQ officers this week. Though neither positions were secured, I am able to see a light at the end of the tunnel and am filled with new hope that my career is not stagnated.
As for my car...
My friend's brother called me this morning to tell me there there are a few good second-hand cars which would be auctioned off in May. This means that I would be able to get an almost brand-new car (they are only a few months old) and a lower price, making my car ownership more affordable. This means that I would be able to own my own car by May.... Hello Kitty car, here I come!
With good things happening, how not to give thanks for what I have been given? While it is important to give thanks, my Mom reminded me to bless others with what I have. This is so true! The more you give and share, the more you will be blessed abundantly....
In my career...
Performance bonus was out. I was worried that I wouldn't do well as I got to a bit of a rocky start last year and personally, I knew I wasn't functioning at my best. I felt like I wasn't valued in what I do. However, the quantum given for my performance bonus has assured me that I was on the right track. In fact, I was more than grateful for this as it is the highest I have ever gotten in 6 years. Praise God... With the money, I was able to clear my loans more quickly.
I've also been promoted. This equates to having extra $$$ which came in at the right time. I have given up doing tuition to spend more time with loved ones and was worried that I would be financially tight with a car to maintain. Having the extra dole means I don't have to keep counting pennies... lolz
Just when I feel like I wasn't heading anywhere in my career, I was called in to my VP's office yesterday. She asked if me I was ready to go for the Level Head interview. If I clear the interview, I would be officially appointed and be given an allowance for the work that I have been doing. Frankly, although I have been doing the work so I might as well be paid for it, I am thankful that this came when I feel like I'm in a transition. When I attended a meeting, I did indicate my interest in joining HQ so I was contacted by HQ officers this week. Though neither positions were secured, I am able to see a light at the end of the tunnel and am filled with new hope that my career is not stagnated.
As for my car...
My friend's brother called me this morning to tell me there there are a few good second-hand cars which would be auctioned off in May. This means that I would be able to get an almost brand-new car (they are only a few months old) and a lower price, making my car ownership more affordable. This means that I would be able to own my own car by May.... Hello Kitty car, here I come!
With good things happening, how not to give thanks for what I have been given? While it is important to give thanks, my Mom reminded me to bless others with what I have. This is so true! The more you give and share, the more you will be blessed abundantly....
Sunday, March 15
I just realised that I haven't blogged for over 3 months. Lolz...
This has been a really busy 3 months since school re-opened. I've got a Primary 1 class this year and I'm definitely loving my class more this year compared to last year. There's something about teaching young kids. Kids just say the darnest things! Sometimes, I don't even know whether to laugh and scold them for their behaviour or things they say.
But when they see me setting up the class or packing up, everyone just rushes to switch off the lights and fans, close the windows, pluu up the screen, sweep the floor.... it's just so adorable. Strange but my P1s are more 'auto' than my P2s last year.
This year is also a challenge as I have special needs pupils in class. The first month was soooo trying, learning how to cope with my special needs boy and at the same time, others who are equally demanding for my attention. After a term, I've survived.... better and stronger... Lolz...
Work-wise, things haven't changed but I've learnt how to change my perspective and take things less personal. In terms of work system, things are also more structured so my roles have also been more defined and definite. As such, I've become happier and more settled this year.
VIPs in my life...
Godma hasn't been doing too good. She was warded 2 weeks ago for vomitting. A build-up of toxins in the kidneys have caused nausea and diarrhoea. Now, there are tests done to check for any bugs in the stomach. Results will only be out tomorrow. I haven't been around to visit as I have been nursing a very bad cough which has yet to clear.
About the family, lil bro is getting married this August! Congrats! Everyone seems to be getting married around me. Mom's friend just called today to invite Mom to her daughter's wedding. Although this is the age where every one seems to be getting married, I'm not bitten my the marriage bug although I've been bugged by the issue.
Yesterday, when we went on a school trip to Batam, I had some time on the bus to myself where I pondered over this... There are days when I celebrate my singlehood but there are also days when I lament over it and wonder if there was something wrong with me for not wanting to even meet new people. Conclusion? Frankly, I'm too tired (physically and emotionally). I don't I have that interest nor energy for the dating game. The thought of putting myself in a situation where I have to construct conversation to pass the time is absolute torture. I supposed if I met someone who clicked with me, it wouldn't be like that.
Anyway, I'm a fatalist this year. 'Thy Kingdom come, Thy Will be done' I'm going to leave everything in God's hands and take it easy. After all, the path set before me has already been destined. If it is in His Will, it will happen according to his plan. No point being a worry-wort over everything. :)
This has been a really busy 3 months since school re-opened. I've got a Primary 1 class this year and I'm definitely loving my class more this year compared to last year. There's something about teaching young kids. Kids just say the darnest things! Sometimes, I don't even know whether to laugh and scold them for their behaviour or things they say.
But when they see me setting up the class or packing up, everyone just rushes to switch off the lights and fans, close the windows, pluu up the screen, sweep the floor.... it's just so adorable. Strange but my P1s are more 'auto' than my P2s last year.
This year is also a challenge as I have special needs pupils in class. The first month was soooo trying, learning how to cope with my special needs boy and at the same time, others who are equally demanding for my attention. After a term, I've survived.... better and stronger... Lolz...
Work-wise, things haven't changed but I've learnt how to change my perspective and take things less personal. In terms of work system, things are also more structured so my roles have also been more defined and definite. As such, I've become happier and more settled this year.
VIPs in my life...
Godma hasn't been doing too good. She was warded 2 weeks ago for vomitting. A build-up of toxins in the kidneys have caused nausea and diarrhoea. Now, there are tests done to check for any bugs in the stomach. Results will only be out tomorrow. I haven't been around to visit as I have been nursing a very bad cough which has yet to clear.
About the family, lil bro is getting married this August! Congrats! Everyone seems to be getting married around me. Mom's friend just called today to invite Mom to her daughter's wedding. Although this is the age where every one seems to be getting married, I'm not bitten my the marriage bug although I've been bugged by the issue.
Yesterday, when we went on a school trip to Batam, I had some time on the bus to myself where I pondered over this... There are days when I celebrate my singlehood but there are also days when I lament over it and wonder if there was something wrong with me for not wanting to even meet new people. Conclusion? Frankly, I'm too tired (physically and emotionally). I don't I have that interest nor energy for the dating game. The thought of putting myself in a situation where I have to construct conversation to pass the time is absolute torture. I supposed if I met someone who clicked with me, it wouldn't be like that.
Anyway, I'm a fatalist this year. 'Thy Kingdom come, Thy Will be done' I'm going to leave everything in God's hands and take it easy. After all, the path set before me has already been destined. If it is in His Will, it will happen according to his plan. No point being a worry-wort over everything. :)
Monday, December 22
A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.
'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'
'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the man.
'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'
'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the man said angrily.
'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'
'If you must know, I make $50 an hour.'
'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down. 'Daddy, may I please borrow $25?'
The father was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.'
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down , and started to think, 'Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often.'
The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door. 'Are you asleep, son?' he asked.
'No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.
'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the man. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $25 you asked for.'
The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you, Daddy!' he yelled.
Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled upbills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.
'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father grumbled.
'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied. 'Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'
Time spent with our family is always priceless...
'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'
'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the man.
'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'
'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the man said angrily.
'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'
'If you must know, I make $50 an hour.'
'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down. 'Daddy, may I please borrow $25?'
The father was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.'
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down , and started to think, 'Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often.'
The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door. 'Are you asleep, son?' he asked.
'No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.
'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the man. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $25 you asked for.'
The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you, Daddy!' he yelled.
Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled upbills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.
'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father grumbled.
'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied. 'Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'
Time spent with our family is always priceless...
Sunday, December 21
You are Special!
One day, a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name. Then, she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.
That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.
On Monday, she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. 'Really?' she heard whispered. 'I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!' and, 'I didn't know others liked me so much,' were most of the comments.
No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.
Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature. The church was packed with his friends. One by one, those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.
As she stood there, one of the soldiers, who acted as pallbearer, came up to her. 'Were you Mark's math teacher?' he asked.
She nodded, 'Yes.'
Then he said, 'Mark talked about you a lot.'
After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.
'We want to show you something,' his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. 'They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.'
Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew, without looking, that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.
'Thank you so much for doing that,' Mark's mother said. 'As you can see, Mark treasured it.'
All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, 'I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home.'
Chuck's wife said, 'Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.'
'I have mine too,' Marilyn said. 'It's in my diary.'
Then, Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. 'I carry this with me at all times,' Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued, 'I think we all saved our lists.'
That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.
The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be. Tell the people you love and care for that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.
Remember, you reap what you sow. What you put into the lives of others comes back into your own.
That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.
On Monday, she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. 'Really?' she heard whispered. 'I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!' and, 'I didn't know others liked me so much,' were most of the comments.
No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.
Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature. The church was packed with his friends. One by one, those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.
As she stood there, one of the soldiers, who acted as pallbearer, came up to her. 'Were you Mark's math teacher?' he asked.
She nodded, 'Yes.'
Then he said, 'Mark talked about you a lot.'
After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.
'We want to show you something,' his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. 'They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.'
Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew, without looking, that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.
'Thank you so much for doing that,' Mark's mother said. 'As you can see, Mark treasured it.'
All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, 'I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home.'
Chuck's wife said, 'Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.'
'I have mine too,' Marilyn said. 'It's in my diary.'
Then, Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. 'I carry this with me at all times,' Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued, 'I think we all saved our lists.'
That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.
The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be. Tell the people you love and care for that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.
Remember, you reap what you sow. What you put into the lives of others comes back into your own.
Thursday, December 18
Letter from God
Today, I will be handling ALL of your problems for you. I do not need your help. So, have a nice day. I love you.
P.S. Remember...
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, DO NOT attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in MY TIME, not yours.
Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.
If you find yourself stuck in traffic jam, don't despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard-of privilege.
Should you have a bad day at work; think of the man who has been out of work for years.
Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.
Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.
Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.
Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.
Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.
Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them!
Count our blessings. So simple and yet hard to do! We are often bothered by what we don't have, rather than what we have. As such, life becomes complicated and an unhappy experience. When we count our blessings, life becomes simple and we can live much happier!
P.S. Remember...
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, DO NOT attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in MY TIME, not yours.
Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.
If you find yourself stuck in traffic jam, don't despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard-of privilege.
Should you have a bad day at work; think of the man who has been out of work for years.
Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.
Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.
Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.
Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.
Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.
Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them!
Count our blessings. So simple and yet hard to do! We are often bothered by what we don't have, rather than what we have. As such, life becomes complicated and an unhappy experience. When we count our blessings, life becomes simple and we can live much happier!
Wednesday, December 17
Happy Holidays!
Although I did not go overseas this holiday, this is by far one of the better holiday. Cos Mommy is on leave as well. We have been spending time doing things together... taking her out, doing things for her, watching telly together with her...
I think it has been a great holiday spent with Mommy.... she has been happy too! :)
I think it has been a great holiday spent with Mommy.... she has been happy too! :)
Sunday, December 7
April's Wedding!
April finally got married yesterday... after an almost decade-long courtship with Jun Hao, affectionally known as JH. It was so wonderful to see her settled down after all the trials in their relationship. To maintain a relationship for 10 years and grow into each other's best friend has not been an easy journey for them, but they have done it. Congrats!
It was a really beautiful wedding. The decor at Grand Hyatt was really classy. Plus the food was good. It was also a wonderful gathering of ex-colleagues. Unfortunately, there were quite a lot who were unable to make it. They were either overseas or fell sick. Despite that, everyone had a great time and April was thrilled to see everyone.
She wanted to linger with us to chat and take photos. Unfortunately, she had to go to other tables too. Anyway, I'm meeting her for lunch this Thurs, as a post-wedding celebration. I really wish her happiness in this journey ahead. ;)
April finally got married yesterday... after an almost decade-long courtship with Jun Hao, affectionally known as JH. It was so wonderful to see her settled down after all the trials in their relationship. To maintain a relationship for 10 years and grow into each other's best friend has not been an easy journey for them, but they have done it. Congrats!
It was a really beautiful wedding. The decor at Grand Hyatt was really classy. Plus the food was good. It was also a wonderful gathering of ex-colleagues. Unfortunately, there were quite a lot who were unable to make it. They were either overseas or fell sick. Despite that, everyone had a great time and April was thrilled to see everyone.
She wanted to linger with us to chat and take photos. Unfortunately, she had to go to other tables too. Anyway, I'm meeting her for lunch this Thurs, as a post-wedding celebration. I really wish her happiness in this journey ahead. ;)
Joys of car ownership!
My friend's bro (the one who got me a good deal for my car) has rented me a car to drive around and practice till my car arrives. I'm been driving myself around since Monday evening, a one week old driver... lolz.
Right now, I'm enjoying the bliss of car ownership. My mom commented that since I've started driving, I've become more happy. :)
Honestly, a car has provided me a lifestyle that I've always wanted. I am able to get from place to place, with less hassle and less time spent on transport. I've also been able to do more things for my dear mom and godma. I feel that with the car, I have been able to bless people I care about.
Monday
Drove Mom to my Uncle's house to see Grandma. Mom hasn't been there since Sept. My uncle stays in the middle of the Bukit Timah private houses. It's diff to get there without transport and Mom doesn't like to rely on my uncle and aunts to drive her back. Too much hassle for them.
Tuesday
Drove to school for meeting. Drove my colleagues, Ben and David, out for a yummy lunch at Yuhua Hawker Centre. Went hospital to see Godma. Pick Mom up after work - she carried more stuff back knowing I was going to pick her up.
Wednesday
Drove to school to settle finance issues. Went to my paternal Grandma's place for lunch. Collected a free gift at Techpoint for Mom. Went to buy my Hello Kitty car accessories. Visited Godma after her discharge. Drove out to hunt for drainage bags - hers had a leak.
Thursday
Survived the Orchard traffic by driving myself for gym lessons.
Friday
Drove to school to settle finance issue once again... sigh... Had lunch with David at IMM. Went for tuition. Met Mom at Toa Payoh Central where I went to the library and she bought a lot of things.
Saturday
Survived the Orchard traffic by driving down for April's wedding dinner. Went out for drinks with my colleagues. Drove Chee Chuen and Irene home.
Sunday
Took Mom to Ghim Moh Market - her fav market but we had no direct transport for. Went to Uncle's house to see Grandma with breakfast for all of them.
While I've enjoy the use of the car and made productive use of it, it is a huge financial drain. Plus, I also had a couple of minor accidents.
Accident #1 - Hit the kerb and punctured the air tube for the wheel. Had to change the entire wheel. Thank God, my friend's bro had a lobang who did it for him FOC. Just that I was v embarassed by it.
Accident #2 - Parked too near a pillar and ended up with a scratch in front. Sigh...
Accident #3 - Hit the kern at a sharp turn and the wheel cap flew out. Didn't even realised it till I got home. Had to drive back to the spot to find it. It was in the drain. Had to climb down the drain to pick it up. Luckily, Mom was with me. She held on to the wheel cap while I kicked it in. That's how I managed to fix that! :p
These accidents have helped me to be more careful. Let's hope the list ends here...
While it is expensive for me to maintain the car, seeing the satisfaction on Mom's face as I drive her around has made it all worth while. :)
My friend's bro (the one who got me a good deal for my car) has rented me a car to drive around and practice till my car arrives. I'm been driving myself around since Monday evening, a one week old driver... lolz.
Right now, I'm enjoying the bliss of car ownership. My mom commented that since I've started driving, I've become more happy. :)
Honestly, a car has provided me a lifestyle that I've always wanted. I am able to get from place to place, with less hassle and less time spent on transport. I've also been able to do more things for my dear mom and godma. I feel that with the car, I have been able to bless people I care about.
Monday
Drove Mom to my Uncle's house to see Grandma. Mom hasn't been there since Sept. My uncle stays in the middle of the Bukit Timah private houses. It's diff to get there without transport and Mom doesn't like to rely on my uncle and aunts to drive her back. Too much hassle for them.
Tuesday
Drove to school for meeting. Drove my colleagues, Ben and David, out for a yummy lunch at Yuhua Hawker Centre. Went hospital to see Godma. Pick Mom up after work - she carried more stuff back knowing I was going to pick her up.
Wednesday
Drove to school to settle finance issues. Went to my paternal Grandma's place for lunch. Collected a free gift at Techpoint for Mom. Went to buy my Hello Kitty car accessories. Visited Godma after her discharge. Drove out to hunt for drainage bags - hers had a leak.
Thursday
Survived the Orchard traffic by driving myself for gym lessons.
Friday
Drove to school to settle finance issue once again... sigh... Had lunch with David at IMM. Went for tuition. Met Mom at Toa Payoh Central where I went to the library and she bought a lot of things.
Saturday
Survived the Orchard traffic by driving down for April's wedding dinner. Went out for drinks with my colleagues. Drove Chee Chuen and Irene home.
Sunday
Took Mom to Ghim Moh Market - her fav market but we had no direct transport for. Went to Uncle's house to see Grandma with breakfast for all of them.
While I've enjoy the use of the car and made productive use of it, it is a huge financial drain. Plus, I also had a couple of minor accidents.
Accident #1 - Hit the kerb and punctured the air tube for the wheel. Had to change the entire wheel. Thank God, my friend's bro had a lobang who did it for him FOC. Just that I was v embarassed by it.
Accident #2 - Parked too near a pillar and ended up with a scratch in front. Sigh...
Accident #3 - Hit the kern at a sharp turn and the wheel cap flew out. Didn't even realised it till I got home. Had to drive back to the spot to find it. It was in the drain. Had to climb down the drain to pick it up. Luckily, Mom was with me. She held on to the wheel cap while I kicked it in. That's how I managed to fix that! :p
These accidents have helped me to be more careful. Let's hope the list ends here...
While it is expensive for me to maintain the car, seeing the satisfaction on Mom's face as I drive her around has made it all worth while. :)
Thursday, December 4
Godma is finally home... after 73 days in the hospital. This is her longest stay ever!
Anyway, she has been taken off the steriods for good and only given morphine to manage the pain. She's going to be on catheter to reduce risks of infection. Her bed has been changed to the hospital-bed-type so she will be more comfortable. The house has been done up for Christmas, her favourite holiday.
She looking good and happy. I hope things will continue to be better for her. :)
Anyway, she has been taken off the steriods for good and only given morphine to manage the pain. She's going to be on catheter to reduce risks of infection. Her bed has been changed to the hospital-bed-type so she will be more comfortable. The house has been done up for Christmas, her favourite holiday.
She looking good and happy. I hope things will continue to be better for her. :)
Tuesday, December 2
Thursday, November 27
I've finally made the downpayment for my ride. My friend's brother got me a very good deal. If my car loan gets approved, he can start bidding for my COE. I doubt there any chance of a $2 COE. If I can get it under $5K, I'm more than happy... lolz...
If everything works out well, my car should come before Chinese New Year. Hope I can get it in the colour I want. :)
If everything works out well, my car should come before Chinese New Year. Hope I can get it in the colour I want. :)
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