These two days were a real awakening to my cowardly nature and my inability to take bad news. I must have been 'sunny' or 'desperately trying to remain sunny' for so long... dealing with the crap that Life throws at me until I can't seem to recognise when I really need to rant and rave to get negative emotions out of my system...
Yesterday afternoon, I received bad news from Aunt Carol (Rosy's sister) that the MRI results are out and the last bout of radiosurgery which she went through in Jan did not managed to blast the tumour in the spine away. In fact, her doctors have said that there is nothing more medical science can help her at this point. They have refered her to the Pain Management Unit and Hospice Care to help her deal with the pain.
When I heard the news, I was kinda shell-shocked. The first thing I thought of was to rush to the hospital and sit with her. Although I didn't stay for very long, at least I was there to hear what the doctor had to say.
Praying for a miracle is not great news that any patient wants to hear but that's what's I'll be praying for nightly. I really believe that Rosy has been God's miracle child for the last 10 years... by sheer will, she has overcome the obstacles that have been placed. And each time as the doctors seem to lose hope, there would be medical breakthroughs just in time to renew hope. This time, even as her doctors keep a lookout for new medical breakthroughs, I'll be praying that God will answer my prayers and the breakthroughs will be just in time.
It seems strange that I should take it so hard even though we have no blood relation. If fact, when both my grandfathers passed away, I was not even a least bit affected. The only time I cried was when they were about to be cremated.
Maybe cos I have not thanked her enough for all she has done to me. In fact, I will always be indebted to her. She was more than my college Literature teacher... she taught me about life, saw hope in me when I didn't even see any in myself. In fact, part of the success I have today is thanks to the skills that she taught me.
I was not much of a bookworm in school. I was always the underperformer. Instead of running after me for what I couldn't do, she gave the job of the Drama Club Secretary, making me run after people. It is this people management skill that has served me well in my workplace till now.
She has also encouraged me to keep educating myself, upgrade to keep it. Maybe I should really start thinking seriously about taking up a Masters'.
The friendship we have built over the years have transcended that of ordinary friends. To me, I go to her for advice more than I actually go to my mom. Though I've never told her, she's like my second mom.
Right now, I just wanna spend more time with her... quickly get a license so I can buy a car and drive her around... treasure her while I still can...
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To see a world in a grain of sand
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour.
- Auguries of Innocence William Blake
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