Woman stopped by unannounced at her son's house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm waiting for Justin to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.

"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.

"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.

"Love dress? But you're naked!"

"Justin loves me to wear this dress," she explained. "Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours."

The mother-in-law left.

When she got home she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and laid on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.

Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually.

"Needs ironing," he said, "What's for dinner?"

Is this what many years of marriage does to one? lolz....

for the feminists...

For all those men who say, "Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free?"

Here's an update for you: Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY?

Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

Men are like....

1. Laxatives ... They irritate the crap out of you.

2. Bananas ... The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. The Weather ... Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Blenders ... You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6. Commercials ... You can't believe a word they say.

7. Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

8. Government Bonds ... They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Mascara ... They usually run at the first sign of emotions.

10. Popcorn ... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Snowstorms ... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12. Lava Lamps ... Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13. Parking Spots ... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

This really makes great laugh... ;)

The work load hasn't been reduced... I'm still stressed but no longer frustrated. By the grace of God, I have managed to cut it down already. He is always faithful especially when he has multiplied my time...

I was becoming quite stressed about my piling work. God bless a colleague who comes back every Saturday to work. In this way, I am able to come back every Saturday to clear up my marking and lesson planning that I barely have time for between Mon to Fri.

God also bless my lil bro who came to pick me up. As such, I could lug some books over last weekend to clear up my marking.

I am really grateful to the people around me who has shown me a lot of love and concern. While reflecting during my quiet time on Tuesday night and talking to a friend on Wednesday, I am marvelled at how God works in us.

He gives each of us a calling to fulfill, regardless of our capability. As long as we have availed ourselves to his calling, he will always fill us with the capability to perform tasks that he has placed for us.

The calling he has placed for me has been tough. At times, I come close to giving up and throwing in the towel. However, he has never let me fall. Each time I come close to giving, he reminds me of my purpose through quiet time and angels he sends around me. He has also placed understanding bosses around me who have never given me a hard time. Their encouragement has spurred me on to greater heights in the things I have done.

Maybe it might seem strange as to why I have been praising him in my blog lately. That is because these few months has been really tough for me. If by my own strength, I would have failed. I am only able to succeed because of his strength and guidance.

It is true that God draws closest to us when we are at our weakest. This is his way of reminding us to constantly seek him first...

I'm highly stressed and darned tired... This has gotta be the most tiring week of my life...

This has been a week of rushing my psychology assignment (last one! Thank God!) and vetting of papers. All this amidst my ton of marking and courses I have to atttend. Plus had to be down with food poisoning on Tuesday... Make me feel almost tired and miserable!

Fortunately, I'm too much of an optismist to get depressed for long. Be it your happy or miserable, life still goes on AND the things that you have to do are STILL waiting for you to do it. Might as well do it happily... That's my mantra in life. It has indeed served me well through all my down periods... :)

More updates... God has spoken so I have decided to go to the new school... I think my kids will be super happy. From their recent journals, they were telling me how much they like me and how much they will miss me... so sweet rite? At moments like this, I'm glad I'm a teacher.

Envy me for this... BUT don't envy the lesson plans, worksheets and exam papers I have to set, the exam papers I have to vet (6 levels, mind you!), the reflections I have to do, the courses and meeting I have to attend, the admin matters I have to handle, the tons of marking I have to do, the moments my kids and I drive each other crazy, the nights I have to burn midnight oil for my assignments and exam preparation...

Makes me really wonder how I actually managed to stay so optismistic and not go mad... All I can say is the grace of God.

Job Description of Parents

POSITION :

Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :

- Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment.
- Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
- Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :

The rest of your life.

- Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
- Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
- Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
- Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
- Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
- Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
- Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
- Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
- Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
- Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
- Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

None! Get this! You pay them!

- Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
- A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
- When you die, you give them whatever is left.

The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

Haha... how funny but its so true...

Little Davie jokes

Little Davie attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump, and chest.

After a few minutes, Davie asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?"

His father replied,"Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy."

Davie, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."

********************************************

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Davie stood up.

The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Davie ?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

*********************************************

Little Davie watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.

"Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked.

"To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.

"What's the matter?" asked Little Davie.

"Giving up?"

**********************************************

The math teacher saw that little Davie wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, " Davie! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"

Little Davie quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"

**********************************************

Little Davies's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals.

One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.

"Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him."

Little Davie asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

dilemma... dilemma

Recently, my bosses have been asking me if I will be going to the new school... That's like a question that is so heavily steeped in dilemma...

If I go, the travelling distance will be as far as I have been travelling for the last four years and frankly, there are days where the distance really gets to you. Especially when you are fatigue and taking a cab home during the peak hour can cost you as much as $13 (no kidding... I was stuck paying $6 at the Holland Road jam! Bummer...)

However, if I don't go, my conscience will get to me... there are just a lot of people I can't let go...

(a) students - my adorable T and A who struggle with reading, my Z who seems to have endless family problems getting in the way of his studies, K who has started to put in effort albeit inconsistent and even the irritating A (YES! I still haven't given up on you no matter how many times I have to send you out!)

(b) colleagues - the friendships built over the last 4 years

How? How? How?

Only solution...



Deep inside, I hear God calling but I'm just a stubborn ole thing... so I asked God for 3 signs... 2 have since materialised (in neon blinking lights, I must add)...

Now I'm looking for the last...

When it appears, I know God has truly called and I will do according to his will...

In the meantime, pray...

God works in mysterious ways...

This year began as a very frustrating year for me, with endless problems that seem to crop up... my self-esteem simply took a nose-dive. I became upset and depressed with everything...

1) I don't feel successful at work...

problems managing the monkeys at teach, not so creative lessons, falling behind my level teachers due to time wasted on classroom management...

There were the days when I simply doubted my own ability and considered a career change...

2) My studies dun seem to go so great...

I haven't been going for lectures and tutorials, just so much things to do that I felt so bummed out. For my assignments, I haven't been able to hand up one on time... God bless my tutors for extensions...

Not such a great student after all...

Just when I wanted to throw in the towel, God reminded me that His ways are higher than mine and I just have to let things work according to his plans... He would not short-change my efforts...

At work, my performance bonus came in and as usual, my bosses are fair... My efforts at work did not go un-noticed. In fact, I'll be getting my promotion (provided I do not do any stupid acts!) By next year, if I do survive this year and not have to repeat, I'll get my emplacement...

Three cheers to more pay!

I'm not materialistic but having more pay is just a reflection that I am getting somewhere in my career...

As for my studies, my hear sank when I read the comments from my tutors... too dramatic in expressing my opinion, not enough supporting argument... blah blah... I thought they would fail me. Instead, I ended up with 75 and 70 for my Psychology assignments and 70 for my English assignment.

Even my church work has praise reports... friends that I have brought to church have accepted Christ and are finding the peace of God in their life... I feel so happy for them!

When doors seem to close, it is not really a closed door. Just that, it is not time for GoD to open them. Even when the doors are not open, his favours continue to pour into your life. He has not forsaken or abandoned us. Just that, we are often blinded because of our own expectations. When the time is ripe, his doors will naturally open and his blessings will pour out so great that you become shocked by the power of his grace.

That's the power of God's love...

Motherhood at 60

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old woman was able to give birth to a baby. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit.

May we see the new baby?" one asked.

"Not yet," said the mother."I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first."

Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative asked, "May we see the new baby now?"

"No, not yet," said the mother.

After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked again, "May we see the baby now?"

"No, not yet," replied the mother.

Growing very impatient, they asked, "Well, when can we see the baby?"

"WHEN HE CRIES!" she told them.

"WHEN HE CRIES?" they demanded."Why do we have to wait until he CRIES?"

"BECAUSE I forgot where I put him."


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*

That was a teaser for laugh...

Life's lessons...

In our life as we are growing, it's inevitable that we meet some ups and down.
We have to learn to protect ourselves, as well as love ourselves.

The score of life depends on how we are going to compose it.
Avoiding does not mean we will always get by,
Facing it does not mean it will be difficult.

What we achieve, may not last forever,
What we have lost, may not mean we will not earn back.

Turning away does not mean cowardice.
Do not say that there's no choice.

There's no absolute right or wrong answers,
There's is more then one answers to problems.
We will always have road ahead of us to go forward.

If we can find a reason to be sad,
We can also find one to be happy.

Those who learn how to let go, finds tranquility.
Those who learn how to forget, finds freedom.
Those who learn how to care, find true friends...