Funnies... Just for laughs!

An oral surgeon was scheduled to extract four wisdom teeth from Jim, a high-school football player, who had opted to be sedated for the procedure.

As the intravenous anaesthesia was being administered, the doctor asked Jim
how he was feeling.

"Man," he replied, struggling to keep his eyes open, "I feel like I'm in
English class."

~~~~~

The minister asked the little girl, "Do you know what's in the bible?"

"Yes," she responded, "I think I know everything that's in it."

Surprised, the minister siad, " That's a pretty big claim for someone your size, go ahead and tell me."

The girl started out, "Well... let's see... there's a picture of my brother's girlfriend, a ticket from the dry cleaners, one of my curls, and a Pizza Hut coupon.

~~~~~

A visiting minister was very long-winded. Worse, every time he would make a good point during his sermon and a member of the congregation responded with "Amen" or "That's right, preacher" he would get wound up even more and launch into another lengthy discourse.

Finally, the host pastor started responding to every few sentences with "Amen, Pharaoh!" The guest minister wasn't sure what that meant, but after several more "Amen, Pharaohs" he finally concluded his very lengthy sermon.

After the service concluded and the congregation had left, the visiting minister turned to his host and asked, "What exactly did you mean when you said 'Amen, Pharaoh'?"

His host replied, "I was telling you to let my people go!"

~~~~~

A lawyer was reading out the last will and testament of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will:

"To my loving wife Rose, who stood by me during the rough times, as well as the good : the house and $2 million."

"To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in illness and kept the business going : the yacht, the business and $1 million."

"And to my cousin Dan, who hated me, argued with me and thought I would not remember him in my Will, you were wrong : Hello Dan!"